I Paint My World The Way I Want It
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Y
totally surprised..
nv in my life did i thought i'd be spending the 27th with the person i should have spent it with..
wow..
unexpected..
fun though..
well..
happy 21st anyway..:)
nv thought it'd be this way too..
hope i can settle today well first..
hope he wont threaten that he wanna go die and stuff..
haiz..
i hate being the bad guy..
i feel so damn sad..
its too cruel..
shouldn't have even started in the first place if i know it'd be this way..
damn it..
thats all for now..
tata..
Paint Splashed<3
9:29 AM
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Y
went esplanade last night..
donkey yrs since i last went there..
talked for a couple of hrs..
and i got to know him more..
he opened his heart to me..
as in he said things abt his family and stuffs that no one really knew..
he showed his emotions..
first time i see this side of him..
not sth bad..
at least its better than having ppl keeping stuffs from you eh?
felt kinda diff ytd..
and i really dunno what to do anymore..
i want to be there and yet i know its wrong..
haiz..
whatever la..
waiting for the letter in early june..
at least thats what they said in the email..
hmm..
thats all for now..
tata..
Paint Splashed<3
8:15 AM
Monday, May 11, 2009
Y
i think i'm superficial..
i really think i am..
kinda disapointed in myself..
why oh why?
shouldn't be thinking abt it..
yet i can't seem to help myself..
ah..
thinking abt all sorts of stuffs..
the past, the present, as well as the future..
the past is long gone..
but it stays in my memory..
for good i guess..
seeing that particular word reminds me of so many things, brings back so many memories and feelings that i thought i had gotten rid of and left behind..
how wrong i was..
ha..
the present..
its uncertain..
so much differences that makes me really wonder how it actually happened..
but yet ppl can be so determined..
i dun understand..
ppl making vows and promises to god to make a difficult relationship work and for him to marry someone who's so diff..
there's ppl in this world trying to make an impossible relationship work..
yet there are ppl who give up a relationship that could probably work..
weird huh..
i dun understand..
the future..
i dunno what lies in store for me..
i'm not ready..
not at all..
i'm not even sure of the present..
cant even forget the past..
wth..
he hates seeing me sad..
so i'm like trying to be happy or at least show a happy face recently..
my sadness can make him do crazy stuffs..
haiz..
i dunno..
he's perfect yet so imperfect at the same time..
this is so wrong..
so bloody wrong..
tell you sth funny..
i'm not eating pork for his sake..
so he doesn't eat fishballs just cos i dun like it..
he said he wanna do sth for me cos i'm like giving up what i like for him..
i was like.. huh??
so funny and nonsensical..
haha..
and oh ya..
i may be working at suntec part time..
not really sure yet..
yet to confirm with my boss..
thats all for now..
tata..
Paint Splashed<3
10:22 AM