I Paint My World The Way I Want It

Sunday, July 29, 2007

world war 3 at home..
me and my mum..
major quarrel this time..
but its really not my fault..
cos the thing is i didnt even do anything la..
life sucks when you've got a mother like her..
a few others agreed too..
and now she calls me ungrateful..
ungrateful my foot..
even my sis and dad think that she's in the wrong..
but well..
noone can talk sense into her..
she's always right and everyone else is always wrong..
hmph..
and now..
she diao me everytime we 'happen' to look at each other..
and she told me to wash my own clothes and everything..
i dun give a damn..
good for her..
now she has to do everything herself..
nobody for her to order around..
*smirks*
why cant she be like any other mothers???
whats her prob la..
i'm glad she told me not to call her mum anymore..
and i hope she wont bother abt me anymore too..
all thats left is to wait for her to tell me to leave this bloody place..
which i'll be more than happy to do so..
so i wont have to see her freak face anymore..
i really hate her..
i'm a human too okay?
and i have my own rights and freedom..

i may appear nice and friendly and tolerant..
but you dunno how long i and everyone in this family have been tolerating you le..
you took us for granted..
and i've reached my boiling point..
this is the other side of me you've never seen before..
you're the first person in my life who's angered me this much..
and i hate you for bringing out this side of me..
you've hurt me..
disappointed me..
angered me..
embarrassed me..
and now i'll give it back to you what you deserved..

i'm actually quite surprised why i even post such stuff in my blog..
why let everyone know what happen..
but aiya..
whatever it is..
heck la..
i dun care..
and i'm not gonna care..

Paint Splashed<3
11:26 AM

Sunday, July 22, 2007

went town ytd..
went to cine and saw a really nice pair of shoes at left foot!:)
but i'm quite broke now..
shall get it as soon as i've saved up!
haha..

things are back to normal again le..
thank goodness..

common test coming in a week's time..
havent started studying yet..
no time left..
aaargh!!!!!!!!!

lotsa things i have to put aside cos of the extra lessons and everything..
haiz..
think i cant meet up with you again le chi..
have to wait till after common test..
which is like end of first week of august..
really sorry..:(
but we'll meet up soon enough though..
haha..:)

gotta go now..
still got maths to do..
sigh..
hope i can finish soon..
need to go sleep at 12 from now on cos of my mum..
really idiotic..
but what to do..
rules are rules..
aaaaaaaaaarghh!!!
even at home also got rules..
cant stand it..

so well..
thats all for today..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
10:08 PM

Friday, July 20, 2007

i'm 18 le..
haha..

here's a big THANK YOU to all my friends for their presents and birthday wishes..
especially worm, zhixin, wendy, cyn and fibb!:)
and my classmates for their birthday song..
haha..
and finally..
my dear..:))

anyway..
went to millenia walk with phebe today to visit her sis..
cos apparently its her sis's last day of work there..
so the two direction idiots started walking and walking and walking..
in the end we got lost and had to ask ppl for directions..
haha..
den we still had a bit of difficulty finding it..
and when we finally reached..
we couldn't find her the cafe her sis was working in..
it was called Simply Sandwich..
so we asked the receptionist..
haha..
we're totally hopeless..

after that her sis treated us to some super nice sandwiches!
the walk was worthwhile afterall..
haha!:P
it was crunchy egg and GHC or something like that..
that fibb ah..
so greedy..
in the end still want some more..
so we ate some more..
and the result?
we were so full that i didnt eat dinner at all..
haha..
lol..

anyway..
thanks for the treat fibb!:)
really enjoyed myself today!
and the who wants to be a millionaire part too..
LOL..
but fun la..
haha..

'happy' birthday..
its supposed to be happy..
until i reach home..
then everything went wrong..
my parents..
i totally cant stand them..
they just simply suck..
really..
cant find any other words to describe what they did..

but wanna thank my two sisters too..
for comforting me..:)
love ya all..:)
and my dear too..:)

to think that i've actually been anticipating this day..

this is just one of the 'good days gone wrong' days..

sobs..:(

hope tmr will be a better day..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
11:56 PM

Monday, July 16, 2007

got my progress report le..
not that desirable la..
but alot better than last year though..
obviously..
haha..
but my bio still suck as much as ever..:(
but i'll put in more effort la..
hope can do better la..
haha..

anyway..
friday's coming soon le!
4 more days to go..
haha..:P
but zhixin and wendy's are tmr..
both the same day..
haha..
and cos of that..
i'm going broke le..
sobs..
haha..

HAPPY 18th BE-EARLY BIRTHDAY TO WENDY AND ZHIXIN~!!!
here's wishing that you both will do well for your A's!
and i know you both will de la..
JIA YOU!
haha..
-smiles-
miss ya all..:)

and now my sis keep on talking and talking to me..
and i didnt reply her..
so now she's complaining that she's monologing..
hahaha..
so funny..
and she's asking me whether i know how it feels like when you're monologing..
and i just kept quiet..
and she's now saying that she's like talking to her worksheets..
damn funny..
haha..

anyway..
i gotta go do maths soon le..
and i need to remember to assign questions to my classmates next time too..
if not everyone will be "in a state of desperation" like what peng tiong said..
haha..
i'll do a better job next time!:)
promise!
and oh ya..
i need to buy transparencies and OHP markers for the class too..
if not mr leow will be nagging again..
haha..
my class ah..
the transparencies never seems to be enough no matter how much we're given..
haha..
think they all just swallow it after preseting maths..
so me..
the poor rep..
gotta go buy some more..
hahahaha..:P

that's all for today..

and i just love these the most!
so sweet..
haha..
here it goes:
"me, Bryan Ong Xiong Leng, will always and forever will be with you, regardless of your health or situation..
to take care of you when you're sick and love you with all my heart, to shower you with warmth when you're cold and lonely and be your first and last.."

i totally love my dear!:)

Paint Splashed<3
10:23 PM

Thursday, July 12, 2007

my dad brought back a guitar today!
haha..
and it looks nice..:)
but i didnt ask him where he got it from or anything la..
haha..

i'm quite happy now cos of some very good news..
haha..:)
sat will be here real soon le!!!!!!!!!
whoo hoo~!
cant wait for it!
haha..

haiz..
i dunno what to say to you gal..
tell you something..
i really feel very very sad after i read your blog entry today..
and i still cant understand..
think you're facing the same prob i faced quite a few months ago la..
still remember?
and remember what both you and him told me???
you said you'll just break up with the guy if he did that to you..
haiz haiz haiz..
i'm not asking you to leave him..
but what are you doing now???
scold when needed be..
tolerate when needed to..
confront when necessary..
what you're doing is not right you know..
and i bet you kept quiet again and let him do all the talking when he asked you abt that msg today..
and now you go home and get so upset and depressed at your blog..
i mean really..
what's the use??
he'll never read your blog..
or at least thats what i think la..
maybe i'm wrong though..
but whatever it is..
COMMUNICATION is very important..
be it on the phone or face to face talk..
you gotta tell him how you feel..
and now this time..
YOU do the talking..
dun let him interrupt..
get your point across to him..
i dun care whether you wanna talk nicely or scream and shout at him or whatever..
if you're afraid that you cant talk..
den prepare what you wanna say beforehand..
and DUN let him try to explain..
you know jolly well that he has more than a million excuses to defend himself..
and in the end you'll still be in the wrong..
so give YOURSELF a chance..
not give HIM..
you've given him more than enough chances le..
really..
if he really understands or respect you or love you den he'll give you the chance to talk..
and not shoot you with a million words when you've uttered less than ten..
he thinks he's so great..
doing a little bit of this and that is great?
then what abt you?
you've done more but never said anything..
its time to stop keeping quiet gal..
he places you lowest in his priority list..
even his nonsensical unsincere friends are more important than you..
what does this show man..
aiya..
all i can do is nag and tell you all these..
but whether you do them is entirely another story..
but i can tell you i have your interests at heart..
and i care..
all the best though..
be brave gal..:)

hey..
i remember the past very clearly okay?
so stop talking abt it everytime you're unhappy can?
you think we all forgot?
never!
and i DUN need your reminders of all the things we went through 10 yrs ago..
and i know what i'm doing okay?
so just shut up..
i'm sick and tired of it le..

thats all for today..
tata..

Paint Splashed<3
11:27 PM

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

went bryan's POP today..
was quite nice..:)
and i like the part where they formed the word POP the most..:)
haha..
very nice..:))
and i feel kinda proud of him too..:)
and i met shurei there too!
haha..
such coincidence..
but i almost couldn't recognise her la..
den chatted a bit with her..:)

anyway..
the things that happen today..
aiyo..
i dunno how to say also..
no comments..
seriously..
i mean..
how can he treat you like that???
and some more i'm right there..
no sense of shame de..
but dun think so much gal..
its not your fault la..
really..:)
i know you tried your best le..
and i'm amazed by how you can tolerate him for so long..
cos personally i cant..
haha..
if i were to tolerate such nonsense..
i would've screamed at him or scolded him long ago le..
how can you be so nice.........!
i cant understand what he's playing at..
and you should've scolded him back today..
he's doing all these cos you're so nice..
show him that you cant be bullied..
tolerating him is not the way you know..
if you tolerate le and he'll change then still never mind..
but how many times such things happen le???
seriously gal..
if i were you..
i would've left him long ago le..
but i know how you think and how you feel la..
you think a bit differently from me though..
but why are you the one receiving all his nonsense??
why cant it be HIM instead..
you've changed le gal..
you used to tell me this and that that you'll leave any guy who dun treat you well..
by saying these..
i'm NOT asking you to leave him..
i'm just giving you some food for thought..
and obviously..
i'm NOT trying to jeopardise you two's relationship..
i wont get anything out of it even if i do..
the main thing is i just cant stand seeing you so miserable and sad everyday..
talk to him and work things out la..
stay strong gal if you still wanna continue on this steep and rocky journey..
the decision lies in you..
jia you!
i'll always be here for you de..:)

guess that's all for today..
looking forward to uzumakii!!!!!!:)

Paint Splashed<3
10:57 PM

firstly..
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY AH CHI!!!
though i'm a bit late la..
haha..
so old liao ar..
cannot tell you to be more matured cos you already so matured le..
haha..
as least more than me i think..
haha..
like what xy like to say..
"ju chi so matured de........"
haha..:PP
actually wanted to meet up with her this week de but not free..:(
so next week then..
i hope can meet up next week la..
haha..
but mine's not too far away too!
haha..:P
oops..

tests coming..
but havent finish studying..
haiz..
gotta buck up..
haha..

anyway..
i was watching a cd just now..
it was from my brother's school..
the teachers took photos of the kids during activities and compiled into a cd..
my bro was cute la..
haha..
some quite funny..
i didnt know my bro was such a good and caring boy in school..
cos at home he's always the monster who goes around terrorizing ppl..
haha..:P
but i'm very proud of him though..:)
all the praises that he got..
haha..

anyway..
i was playing during chem prac today..
thermochem..
there was some solution left so i went to take 2 or 3 spoonfuls of solid and added all into the remaining solution..
then i stirred and measured the temp..
haha..
then my chem teacher saw and walked to me..
"what you cooking ar? making all the clang clang sounds.."
den..
"you ar.. so mischievous"
haha..
den she gave a small laugh and walked away..
haha..
it was fun and funny la..
haha..
bored mah..
nothing better to do..
so gotta find some entertainment..
haha..:P

hmm..
i dunno la..
but sometimes when this friend of mine talks abt sth..
he makes me look at it in another way..
in a hmm.. not so good way..
like there are some hidden meanings inside..
but i dunno whether its true a not also la..
but one thing i know is that she (another friend) doesn't feel anything..
i dunno how to tell her also..
its not nice to say such things..
and whether its true a not he also wont admit de la..
so..
no point..
shall leave it as it is and wait till she finds out by herself..
this week the days make me a bit confused here and there..
the OD thing and tests and everything..
dunno what to do..

up till now i still havent gotten my common test timetable and progress report..
while all the other classes already got le..
my ct sooooooooooooo efficient sia..
haha..:P

love makes ppl blind..
maybe?

anyway dear..
i'm so sorry..
my stupid attitude..
but sometimes when i'm unhappy i just cant talk nicely la..
i get irritated and stuff easily when i'm upset..
really sorry..
sometimes its just the disappointment la..
and i need a bit of time to get over it even though its some small small thing..
but i disagree that i get upset easily..
i only get upset when the thing matters alot to me..
and i know its partly my fault too la..
cos i anticipate too much le..
sorry..
anyway..
H.U.G.S!
bold, italics and capital!
haha..
love ya!:)))
sat is coming real soon!:)

gotta go now..
getting late..
its exactly 12.50am now..

NITEZ everyone!
sweet dreams!:)

Paint Splashed<3
12:12 AM

Saturday, July 7, 2007

i finally got the song le!:)))
so happy!
once again..
its Because of You by Ne-Yo!
so so so nice!:)
haha..
crazy me..
keep changing blog song again and again..
haha..
but i really like it la..

i'm glad everything's fine for michelle..:)
luckily nothing happened..
stay strong gal..:)

anyway..
my dear is POP-ing this coming wed!
finally..
after three long months..
haha..
but he still gotta go back there after that la..
sobs..

i find my happiness in you..:)
and ya..
i believe everything you said today..
really..:)))
and i feel the same way too!:)

and oh ya..
the chiaki and makoto wallpaper is really very nice!!!:)
sweetness!:)

anyway..
dun care abt all those ppl dear..
they're just plain nonsense..
these are just part and parcel of life..
there are more to come..
just remember and heed my advices dear..
trust me..
and you wont be seeing them soon le..
so just make the most out of the few days left..
okay?:)
jia you on!
and ya..
i'm still missing ya!
haha..

gotta go do my work le..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
9:18 PM

Friday, July 6, 2007

there was a bee in my study room just now!!!
damn scary..
i screamed and ducked my head everywhere..
den my sis screamed for my mum to save us..
haha..
den my mum came in with her weapon..
newspapers..
dots..-.-
but she managed to kill it though..
smacking it while cursing the stupid bee..
haha..
and now my mum dun dare to open windows..
cos scared the bees will some again..
the nest is at a tree somewhere very near my house..
its a big big nest..
whoa..
scary..

i think some ppl went to provoke it or something..
cos this afternoon my bro saw the whole swarm flying up den he screamed "big big mosquito coming! alot and very big!"
haha..
damn funny..:P
den my dad saw and ran to close all the windows..
my dad close it and my bro open them..
cos he wanna see..
my dad got so pissed off by him..
haha..
den my brother got scolded by my mum..
haha..

anyway..
maybe going bugis tmr..
to shop shop..
haha..:)

hmmm..
what michelle told me today made me think abt lotsa stuffs..
mental comparisons?
sounds wrong..
haha..
but well..
i hope things improve for you gal..:)

going to sleep soon but not tired yet..
but have to go sleep if not..
1. my mum will come out and nag soon..
2. tmr for sure cannot wake up..
i've been waking up late for the whole week le..
and both my sisters are mad and fed up with me le..
oops..

so..
gotta go now..
NITEZ!:)

i'm glad i have YOU!:)
happiness!:)))

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
12:04 AM

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Because of You by Ne-Yo!
this song is so so so nice!!!:)))
i've been listening to it for dunno how many hundred times le..
haha..
really nice!
it caught me the moment i heard it..
haha..
i'll try to put this song here..:)
i just simply love it!

i'll never make the same mistakes ever again..:)
i promise you i'll make you proud..:)))
at least i'll do my best!

Paint Splashed<3
11:04 PM

Sunday, July 1, 2007

i changed new skin!
finally..
been searching for a nice one for quite long le..
haha..

anyway..
watched transformers on friday with bryan and his squad mates..
its a not bad movie i think..
and quite funny too..
actually its quite nice..:)
haha..
and bumblebee is cute too..:)

den i watched the girl who leapt through time on sat..
haha..
its a nice movie too!:))
and funny too la..
haha..
watched two movies in two days..
its like whoa..
haha..
cos both are nice ones..:)

sometimes i dunno what to say too when ppl i know face probs..
dunno whether to laugh or console them..
cos seriously..
i really dun like that friend..
i know i'm bad..
so ya..
i've decided i wont do anything la..
at least i wont console..
maybe i wont laugh too ba..
MAYBE..
haha..

sometimes ppl gotta learn things the hard way..
and i cant help but to stare at how you'll fall one fine day..
but well..
all the best to you then..
just wanna tell you that..
what comes around goes around..

Paint Splashed<3
6:30 PM