I Paint My World The Way I Want It

Saturday, April 28, 2007

i just received a good news from my dear dear..
:he's accepted by NUS!!!!!
i'm happy for him..:)
under the project and facilites management course..
his first choice!
i'm so proud of him..:)
and his achievement..
but its two more yrs before can actually study it..
haha..
after ns..
but well..
its good work for him..
and jia you from me to him..:)

moral of the story: work hard and you'll get what you want..
academic wise la..
haha..

listening to Patience by Take That..
nice song..
love it..

thats all for now..

tmr will hopefully be a better day..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
4:17 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
and i have to go through it alone..
how i wish you could be by my side like how it was last time..
but i know its impossible..
i wanna talk to you..
i wanna solve this mess together with you..
i dun wanna do it alone..
i dun wanna face it alone..
i need you..
i'm sorry..

Paint Splashed<3
12:13 AM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

i hate it when i'm so careless..
i hate it when i assume things..
why did i assume that she wouldn't come in??!!
WHY WHY WHY???????????????????
I HATE MYSELF!!!
totally..
why was i so stupid?!
creating trouble for everyone..
I HATE MYSELF whenever such things happen!
and the thing is such things always happen no matter how hard i try to be careful..
i hate to get you into trouble..
really..
whenever such things happen..
the days that follow will never be a peaceful carefree day for me..
it hurts me that i'm so problematic and keep giving you trouble time and again..
and worse is that i'm helpless..
i dunno how to help you too..
I HATE TO BE IN THIS MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so upset and feeling so hurt and helpless now..
i feel like sth is stuck in my throat..
i wanna cry but i cant..
i totally hate my parents..
stop doing this to me..
stop being so overly protective of me!!!
stop controlling me!!!!!!!!!!
STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm a human too..
i have my rights too..
i have my own privacy too..
cant i even have any basic freedom???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP SAYING THAT YOU CARE!!!
COS CARING FOR SOMEONE IS NOT DONE THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!
YOU'VE HURT ME..
NOW STOP STEPPING INTO MY COMFORT ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP IT I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paint Splashed<3
11:28 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

Temptation usually comes in through a door that has been left open..

Paint Splashed<3
9:43 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

in my dad's office now..
anyway..
had breakfast just now and my mum asked me to order two long banana shaped fish cakes!
i almost fainted..
i hate fish cakes as much as i hate fishballs..
totally disgusting..
bouncy and ewww..
they taste bad..

anyway..
everyone at home knows i hate fish cakes but not my mum..
cos no one dared to tell her..
cos my mum will force you to eat the thing if she knows you dun like it..
irritating..
so..
my mum gave each of us two pieces..
and i nearly died just looking at it..
den my dad told my mum to buy drinks..
luckily..
so i quickly passed my dad one fishball and one fishcake..
cos my dad wont help me eat all..
so there was only one fishcake left after much bargaining..
haha..
after my mum came back she gave us two more each!
den i tapped my dad's leg..
my dad told me that he was full le
and i was so stressed by just thinking i'll have to eat those monsters..
den my dad asked my sis to eat them while i eat two siew mai instead..
i was soooo relieved!!!
haha..
apparently this happens most of the time when we eat noodles..
haha..
i'm glad my mum doesn't know abt this..
if not den she's gonna stuff me with fishballs and fishcakes the whole day..:P
i shudder at the thought..
haha..

anyway..
i cut my hair yesterday..
sucks..
but i still look like a girl..
haha!

met up with bryan yesterday..
he's botak!:)
but he looks so cute la!:)
and i just love him to bits..
haha..

another 5 more days before i can see him again..:(
gonna miss him loads..

thats all for now..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
12:30 PM

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

chem test tmr..
gotta study la..
cant slack anymore le..
haha..

anyway..
my mum cooked dinner last night and this was what happened..
me: mama the tau kwa very nice..:)
mum: ya.. everybody tells me that but noone eat le will give me nice academic results..
me: aiya its different thing lo..
mum: what different..
mum: i put in all my effort when i cook for you all so that it'll taste nice..
just like how you all have to put in your best when studying to get good results..
mum: blah blah blah..

and she just goes on and on and on for dunno how long abt studies..

so you all see..
this is how great my mum is..
she can simply link up every other thing to studies..
i really admire her talent..
for being so random..
haha..

okay i gtg le..
need to study le..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
9:10 PM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

gotta go for dinner and study for chem and maths test le..:(
but i gotta work hard..
cant afford to let another yr go down the drain again..
like how my mum always remind me almost everyday..
haiz..

thats all for today i guess..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
6:21 PM

been drinking alot of coffee lately..
found out that white coffee is very nice..:)
and that two stick packets of nescafe (regular) tastes alot better than one..
there's no white coffee for nescafe btw..:(
haha..
but well..
two stick packets with one glass of water and you are WHOO HOO~!
on the moon!
haha..:P
its sweet and a super teeny weeny tiny little bit bitter..
but it tastes great..:)
okay..
i know i sound like i'm advertising for nescafe..:P
haha..
but surprisingly..
i dun feel like i cant sleep or anything..
and the main thing is i even feel sleepy after drinking coffee..
haha..

anyway..
been staying in school alot lately to do work..
to finish my work (obviously)..
to kill time..
to wait for call..
to reduce the loneliness i feel inside..

well..
its effective if there's ppl staying back with me la..
but usually my friends can only stay till around max 6 plus..
so after that i'll be alone..
haiz..

thats why i look forward to outings with friends alot..
at least i wont be alone..
and there's the fun..:)

but i look forward to every friday though..
cos i'll be able to see you then..:)
really miss you ALOT!!!:)

friday's coming soon le!
till then..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
6:21 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

took the outing pics from chi..:P (acknowledgement..:P)

me and chi..:)

the two stoning ppl..:P

chi, kai jia n me!

how gigantic can it be???

yes.. the ice cream: the five treasures..

before eating..

during the process..

final product.. bleh..:P

the fate of The Five Treasures..

friends forever!

i love ya girls!

Paint Splashed<3
2:20 PM

went out with kai jia and ju chi ytd..
i rushed to causeway pt after school but was still 45mins late..

went for lunch at mac and chatted for quite a bit..
den went to the library opp after that..
we crapped and started taking lots and lotsa photos there..
making retarded poses and acting cute..
haha..:P

den it was back to causeway..
den i decided to go for ice cream!
so we went to gelare and well..
we had a hilarious time taking photos there..
haha..

den we went to take neoprints!

it was the first time the three of us went out together though..
after so many years..
haha..
but we had lotsa fun and me and kai jia were making so much of noise throughout..
haha..:P

looking forward to our next outing..
with these two lamers..:P

shall try to put some of our pics later..:)

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
2:04 PM

Friday, April 13, 2007

here's the lyrics to my blog song..

jesse mccartney: just so you know

I shouldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away

And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

It's gettin hard to
Be around you
There's so much i can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killin me
I'm wondering why i've waited so long
Lookin back i realize it was always there just never spoken
I'm waitin here
Been waitin here

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

Paint Splashed<3
9:26 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

went to meet kai jia today..
that stupid woman..
sky dark den dun wanna come out..
say it'll rain and later her hair spoiled and everything..
haha..
in the end i went to her void deck to meet her..
and it didnt even rain a single drop..
aaargh! really feel like smacking her..
haha..

anyway..
we chatted from around 4 till 7 plus nearly 8..
well.. i can conclude that she havent changed much at all..
as in characterwise la..
still the same old kai jia..:)
but she's prettier le though..
haha..
she must be jumping for joy if she sees this la..
haha..:P

we still crapped as much as before..
maybe even more..:P
haha..
didnt see you for more than half a yr le..
i miss ya girl..
glad we had a nice and entertaining chat..:)

thanks for your company today kj..:)
at least my loneliness isn't that bad today..:)
you take care k?
and study hard too!
dun play so much le..:P
haha..
love ya girl..:)

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
9:44 PM

Monday, April 9, 2007

new blogskin..
shows changes taking place..
haha..
i love the song though..
haha..
'just so you know' by jesse mccartney..
looking at my blog..
it just makes me feel more myself..
dunno why..
haha..
dumb dumb..

anyway..
haiz..
time just flies..
one month becomes 2 wks..
den i wk..
den before you even know it..
its tmr..:(

10 days..
neither long nor short..
but i'll definitely miss ya.. really..
i'm feeling kinda lost now..
dun wanna face reality but well..
still gotta face it somehow..

i'm trying my best to look at it positively..
really really trying..
but it doesn't seem to work..
haiz..
i dun wanna feel sad..

but this marks the start of all the promises we made
and the changes that would be taking place..

but looking on the bright side..
i'll be able to see you on friday le!:)

i'm scared within..
i hope changes will be minimum..
i'm afraid..
but there's one thing that i'm sure of:
i'll always be waiting.. waiting for you..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
10:14 PM

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

here's some of the photos we took during the pw exhibition last week..:)
i promised to upload.. remember??
haha..:P

our pw project.. proudly presenting to you.. JJ065's The Sleep-Mate~!

everyone vote for booth 13!!!

yes.. we all agree that 13 is the best..:)

me and cynthia..:)

me and the idiotic zhixin..:P

me and michelle..:)

me and ernest..:)

we're united once again! but.. where's wendy???

me and fibb~! love ya loads..:))))

Paint Splashed<3
9:53 PM

Monday, April 2, 2007

"treat others as you want others to treat you"
this phrase still keep appearing in my mind..
this phrase was taught to me yrs ago since i was in pri 2..
and recently..
it just came back to me after so many yrs of being kept in the back of my mind..
this phrase..
though well-known, simple and easy..
is hard to carry out..
its proven by the actions of ppl around me..
it stirs thoughts in me and made me reflect on how i've been treating ppl and the kind of treatment i received from them..
well..
some are good and some are bad and some are just really disappointing..
hmmm..

i know i'm kinda harsh and firm and stubborn and headstrong sometimes..
but when i do stuff..
i do them all with reasons..
and..
i hate it when ppl insult me or the ppl around me who mean alot to me..
thats why i return your criticisms and insults back to you..
i want you to learn and to know how much it hurts when you're spoken to like that..
the only way i can teach is to let you have a taste of your own medicine..
but i mean no harm seriously..
it hurts me to see you upset too..
but it will hurt even more if i dun stop you..

so ya..
pls understand..
i talk and do stuff with a purpose and with reasons..
most of the time..

Paint Splashed<3
11:12 PM