I Paint My World The Way I Want It

Monday, July 28, 2008

dunno what happen to me today..
on the way home i totally felt like puking..
went toilet after i went home..
shitted..
den bathe and ate dinner..
halfway i just had to puke..
vomitted out all the food i ate..
den i threw all the food away and went to wash the dishes..
wash halfway i really cannot take it..
asked my sis to wash for me and i went toilet to vomit again..
the rest of the food came out..
den i shit again after that..

oh gosh..
i suddenly feel like puking AGAIN!!!

gtg now..
i think i'm sick..
go vomit first..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
11:18 PM

Thursday, July 24, 2008

nowadays so many things biting me..
my arm, neck, back, feet and even under my feet!!!!!!
goodness..
and now i have dunno what right under my left eye..
makes my eye freaking painful..:(
and its a bit swollen now..
now all i feel is swellings and itches..
goodness me..

and thanks chi for your help today!!!:)
haha..

may the itch go away soon..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
11:43 PM

Monday, July 21, 2008

oh ya..
forgot to say this..
i LOVE studying with rashal and all..
like jon and max..
haha..
all the nonsense we talk abt..
funny..
studying with these ppl can be so fun..:)
they make me happy..:)

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
11:20 PM

wanna thank all the ppl for their birthday wishes, presents, tags and smses..:)
my sisters for the new watch..:)
bryan for that day..
my class for the super big board filled with my unglam photos..
haha..:)
really appreciated..:)
i wont list everyone cos time is limited..
sorry..
but ya thanks to everyone..:)

my parents didnt wish me or anything though..
a bit sad la but it didnt get me down..
my mum was scolding me the moment i reach home today..
for studying outside instead of at home..
LOL..
and my mum as in real mum called ytd..
and wished me happy birthday..
dunno why i talked to her super nicely..
nv really done that before..
ytd was first time..
everytime i hardly talk..
just say "ya ya ya" and "okay" at whatever she say..
ytd she cough and i told her to take care..
we both didnt expect it cos she paused for a short while den thanked me..
haha..
but she was nice la..
though the reception was horrible and cant really hear what she said..
but she'll be coming spore soon..
this yr..
but dunno when..
gg back taiwan first den coming to see us after that..
my dad was very unhappy abt it..

anyway..
my mum was saying she's gonna go meet her or sth..
den let her know everything abt me and all the 'horrible things i do at home'..
tell her i got bf and stuff..
i dun care lo..
no big deal..
and she say she wanna let her see bryan and tell me to bring him when the time comes..
HAHAHA..
that will be my decision and not yours..
anyway showing her also okay..
she thought i would be very against it..
haha..
i'm more than happy ar..
i hate coming back home lo..
whatever la..
i wanna meet my mum but its awkward cos the last time we met was like 8yrs ago??
so long..

heck la..
i'm not gonna let her make me angry..
i'm gonna tolerate..
few more yrs and it'll be better le i hope..

i'll rmb what you told me..
the nails that were pulled out would leave a hole..
yes..
everyday you're putting a nail in me..
all the horrible stuffs you said, it'll stay with that hole..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
10:47 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2008

today is officially the last day i'm 18..:(
turning older in 30mins time..
haha..
spent my last 18-yr-old-day with bryan..:)
he gave me a whole pretty silver container full of HERSHEY'S KISSES!!!:)
and den we watched cashback on his tablet..
nice movie..:)
and all the while he kept pouring out the chocolates from the container and i kp putting them back..
fed up..
den he finally poured out ALL the chocolates..
and i saw sth in the container..
a super pretty pouch with a GOLD MUSICAL BOX in it!!!!
when i turn the handle it plays somewhere out there..
a song i loved since young..:)
den he bluff me say dun wanna go out and stuff..
hmph..
i was so freaking hungry by then la!!
and he sang this super sweet bithday song to me..
it goes like this, if i rmb correctly: (happy birthday tune)

to my dearest girlfriend,
i have something to say,
i have something to tell you,
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
may all your wishes come true,
happy birthday to you..:)

so sweet..
haha..
den we went for a food trip the whole day..
his treat!!
hot dog buns at orange julius causeway pt..
damn nice!!
dark mocha frappucino at starbucks at raffles city..
my all-time fav..:)
soba crepe and grilled ice cream with jap tea at kuriya jap restaurant!!
loved it!!!
xiao long bao and guo tie at asian kitchen at city link..
super full..:P
and mixed berries marriage ice cream at something-something cream shop to end the day!!!
the strawberries and raspberries and blueberries were HUGE!!!:)
nice nice!!:)

so happy today..
haha..:)
so long since i'm this happy le..
enjoyed myself so much today..
thanks for everything dear!!
the music box, chocolates, the house, the food, drinks and happiness..:)
and your mum for the ang bao..:)
you made my day..:)

think there wont be anything happening tmr ba since they're all not talking to me..:(
all that i wish is they'll be back to normal again..
haiz..
oh wait..
cant sigh..
must end off 18yrs old happily..
lol..

a lady at raffles city asked me and bryan whether we wanna make a wedding album..
say she can make for us..
LOL..
maybe we have the we'll-be-getting-married-soon face?
haha..
saw some super nice wedding dresses..:)

thats all for now..

tata..

and HAPPY 19th TO MYSELF!!!:)

Paint Splashed<3
11:29 PM

tagged by both peili and chi..:)

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
C) Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
i'll be damn hurt and upset. scold the guy (release all my unhappiness) and leave the guy cos he's not worth it.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
i wanna stop time so that i can do everything i want..

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
have an outdoor wedding at overseas at a small cosy cottage with all my friends and family..
and have a PINK wedding ring!!:)

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
very very.

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
someone who loves me, makes me happy and can tell how i feel and what i want without having me to say it out..
and who's always there for me and pampers me..

#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved of course!!!

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
depends. i'll wait, as long as he's really worth the wait..

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
too bad.. move on lo what to do..

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
family and a levels!!!!!

#10. Is being tagged fun?
quite fun.. haha..

#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
married and happy!!:)

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
family, friends and bryan..:)

#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
pl is funny and caring..:) chi is caring and nice to talk to..:)

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
i wanna be married and rich la.. tsk.. why is it not one of the choices..... is it that hard to be married and rich???

#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
sigh and get irritated den wake up for school..

#16. Would you give your all in a relationship?
yup yup!!

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
hmm.. dunno.. take both la or throw coin.. haha.. kidding!! i'll take the one that has better qualities and loves me more..

#18. What type of friends do you like?
those that are there for me and i feel comfortable around..

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
annoying ones who tell ppl stuffs they shouldn't say..

#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
BOTH!! i dun care..

the 8 ppl are: donna rashal yuqin xy xw phebe mayching michele..
anyhow la.. i also dunno who to tag.. lol..

tata..

Paint Splashed<3
10:52 PM

Monday, July 14, 2008

i'm gonna make a decision soon..
and i hope i'll nv ever have to change it forever..
i believe in myself and what i choose..:)
just hope that there wont be problems in the coming future..
thats all..:)

studied at donna's hse today..
a bit la..
cos most of the time we were screaming with the shieldtox in hand..
we were like spraying at the cockroaches that were in her hse..
damn funny..
lol..

thats all for now..

tata..
hope tmr and everyday will be a better day..
and i wont regret my decision..:)

Paint Splashed<3
11:20 PM

Friday, July 11, 2008

i'm listening to maybe..
nice song..
but i'm crying..
crying..
i dunno why it turned out this way..
why..
why..
why..

Paint Splashed<3
12:47 AM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

oh my goodness..
this is freaking crazy..
i cant believe what happened just now..
talking abt anger management..
i was shocked like shit..
i just didnt know how to react..
i dunno why you have to do that..
they're my parents for goodness sake..
yes..
and forever they'll be my parents..
thats all i'm gonna say..
i hope you'll reflect on what you did..

respect is the key..
respect..
respect..
respect..
i cant emphasise more on it..
i'm at a loss for words..

Paint Splashed<3
11:57 PM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

i wanted to talk back..
i wanted to rebutt..
the neighbour's daughter saw me and him at city hall..
she told her mum..
her mum told mine..
my mum was upset..
cos she didnt know..
the neighbour said something..
said its normal..
but my mum interpreted it as something else..
i wanted to tell her what she really meant..
i wanted..
really wanted to talk back..
wanted to ask her what's wrong with her brain and her thinking..
but i didnt..
i shut up..
let her say all she wanted..
and all i know now is this:
i dun care how many ppl are gonna see me..
i dun care how many ppl are gonna tell my parents..
i dun care..
i dun give a freaking damn..
all i'll do is study hard and go uni and go work and save money and get married..
so that i'll get out of this place..
so that she'll stop saying that i'm embarrassing them..
she say i can do whatever i want without caring abt their reputation after i get married..
okay..
fine..
so i'm gonna do just that..
study..
den work..
and get married..
yes..
that's what i'll do if that makes you happy..
cos i know it'll make me happy..
i'm tearing inside..
but you never know..
yes..
you'll never know..
never ever..

Paint Splashed<3
9:29 PM

Friday, July 4, 2008

going msia tmr..
sian..
quarrelled with parents like.. again..
haiz..
whatever la..
now i think they really dun bother le..
as in they bother but they show and act like they dun..
say "pay the bills yourself since you got so much time to..............."
blah blah blah..
i mean can la..
but i just want them to talk to me again la..
haiz..
imagine go msia den noone talk to you..
sis talk to me also get scolded..
i think i'll be a mute when i come back..
sian..

anyway..
went to marina sq with bryan today and got a bag for him..
looks quite nice..:)
not very ex too..

i dun wanna go msia la..
tmr bryan got a singing competition..
i wanna watch and go support..
but cant..:(((((
sad sad sad..
i hope he wow the crowd though..
cos i thought he sang quite well..:))

all the best dear!!:)
its okay if you dun win..
just wow the crowd and win their applause..:))
me support you!!!:)
in spirit la cos i cant go watch..:((
jia you!!!:)

k la..
gtg now..
a bit sad now..
dad dun talk to me..
mum dun talk to me..
mum sarcastic to me..
sisters cant talk to me..
bro cant play with me..
wanna cry le la..
T.T

hope everything will be okay..
i dun wanna be alone..:(((
sobs..
cry..

luckily there's still bryan to talk to me and be there for me..:)
and rashal donna and jon and mayching to talk to me and make me laugh..
thanks guys..:)
and miss tan too..:)

tata..

i cant dun talk you see..
i LOVE talking..
the silence is killing me!!!!!!

thanks dear..
for everything..:)
and i'm sorry i was mean to you today..
i just dun wanna be left behind..
k?
love you!!:)

Paint Splashed<3
11:09 PM