Light of Hope

2010-07-10T09:09:00.002+08:00

chatted with george the other day..
funny to see him talk..
so animated..
it was damn funny..
2 ppl trying to annoy the crap out of each other..
haha..
but amidst all the fun, he really made me think..
maybe cos he's so straightforward..
says his opinions right in your face..
made me kinda troubled and disturbed..
made me see things in his pt of view..
kind of a bad thing..
first time a friend got me so affected this way..
haha..
but like what he said, i'm as stubborn as a mule..
so yup george, its NOT gonna change anytime soon..
:P
i learnt my lesson..
unlike you learning your mistakes..
well, whatever..

thats all for now..

tata..
busy busy day!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-28T12:56:00.001+08:00

found a new exciting way of distracting myself..
simply wonderful..:)

2010-06-03T12:10:00.002+08:00

hey hey..
no feelings man..
how?
tsk..
but if i say that again, that person's definitely gonna go mad again..
like mad..
seriously..
damn..
but i dun wanna go on lying anymore..
or escaping either..
i'm happy this way on my own..
i'm getting used to it already..
dun need anyone..
so how do i say it?
shit..
there's no longing whatsoever..
maybe i shld just take the advantage that he cant contact me and he cant come back here..
and just tell it to him..
so maybe i wont get affected so much..
hmm..
but that makes me a really horrible person aint it?
and he's gonna hate me..
but who cares..
i dun care for anyone anymore..
as long as it do me good and i get what i want..
well..
we shall see how it goes..
pray that it goes smoothly..

tata..

2010-05-26T13:13:00.002+08:00

watched a couple of videos on all these construction and stuff in the course..
actually not a couple, but quite alot..
made me marvel at my dad's capability..
but its so damn dangerous!!
omg..
i feel like i'm so damn useless..
my dad's turning 50 soon and he's still working under the hot sun and being so tired everyday..
okay la he's not a worker but still..
its equally tiring and hot and dangerous..
i'm gonna do everything i can and earn as much as possible so he can retire soon..
breaks my heart to see my ah pa like that..
haiz..
what kinda daughter am i?!?!?!!

and when they gave the example of how 2 workers died during the demolition of the ocean building a couple of yrs ago..
it was a mixture of feelings..
that was his friend's project..
and he asked my dad for help so that he wont have to get fined so much..
and my dad helped him clear that freaking ugly mess..
helped to reduce that fine by sooooooo much..
and what the hell did my dad get??
ahhhhh..
dun wanna talk abt it..
makes me furious with that shitass friend of his..
but anyway..
really wanted to scream out loud during that video that it was my dad who cleared that shit in that project..

i'm so damn proud of my dad..
yup..
i dunno if there's anyone who's this proud of their parents..
but i am..
and proud of it too..
haha..
but his achievements make me feel so useless as a daughter..
my mum's fantastic too..
seriously..
but come to think of it..
well i'm good in teaching..
like really..
haha..
okay..
whatever..
gonna make him damn proud of me one day too..:)

thats all for now..

in a few yrs time i'm gonna do it and make my dad proud..:)

tata..

2010-05-26T09:21:00.002+08:00

today feels like its gonna be a wonderful morning and wonderful day..:)

2010-05-25T13:36:00.003+08:00

currently at a course now..
kinda boring..
representing my dad's company..
gotta look my bestest best today..
haha..
the weather's damn damn damn hot!!
walking under the sun is making me crazy..
but still its better than being outside under the rain..

been thinking abt alot of things..
and been telling myself not to think too..
trying to forget abt it all..
ha..
apparently, i realised that music, teaching and my mum's nagging is alot of help..
haha!!
her nagging actually jolt me out of my thinking and yup..
nagging does wonders!!
haha!!
and i can always be sure that my mood will return to normal by morning..:)
fantastic..:)

reading breaking dawn too..
love it!!

and oh ya!!
my students..
as in my tuition kids have done so well or improved by so much for their exams!!
:)))
i'm soooo happy!!
my hard work paid off..:)
its the kind of feeling that you dun get anywhere else..
a new kid next week..
according to her mum she's kinda slow..
but i'm sure i can do it..:)
100% confident..
i'm getting better in teaching everyday..

but gotta find time to do all the other things that i want and need to do..

thats all for now..

gotta pay attention to the lecturer..
funny guy..
but not funny enough to keep my attention for too long..
haha..

tata..

2010-04-28T10:38:00.000+08:00

crap..
you're making me pissed..
maybe i should just delete you away..
damn..

2010-04-17T20:52:00.004+08:00

seriously..
why shld i care what happens to you right??
you're goddamn 24yrs old alr!!
and you're still acting like a kid..
if you still cant think, i cant help you too..
if you wanna destroy your freaking life, go on and do it mannn!!
and pls..
when you do it, pls do not blame it on me..
in other words,
stop saying that its all because of me..
i didnt tell you to do all these crap..
i made it clear to you alr that its impossible..
and i told you to give up..
i cant care less anymore..
its becoming a torture to me..
to hear you say "why am i doing all these? its cos of you!!"
is killing me..
give me a break..
i know you're purposely doing all those crap with that girl on fb to let me see..
to tell me that thats the only way out or to forget me..
oh, wrong..
you'll come telling me that even that cant help you forget..
well, you know what???
i.dun.care.

you cant force me..
the more you do that, the more i recoil..
the more i cant stand you..
i wont waste my precious life on things that aren't worth my time..

anyway..
heart heart heartbreak by boys like girls is a damn nice song!!!!!:)

gtg study!!!!!
to hell with all these crap!!
:)

i'm done with you!!!!
sorry for being such a bitch..
but i've had enough!!

tata..

2010-04-17T12:40:00.002+08:00

i dunno what the hell i'm doing..
like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!!!!!
i wanna help you..
like seriously..
i'm just a tree..
i want to help you to not give up the whole forest for just one freaking tree..
but what the hell..
when i see the nonsense you're doing on fb, i wanna ask you why you're doing that..
but if i stop you, i'd be going back on my word..
right?
what you're doing is the best for yourself but yet i just cant stand seeing you do that..
fuck..
damn it..
i'm in a freaking dilemma..
i want you to stop..
but also not to go to that person when you know you dun like her too..
slap myself ten times across my freaking face..
i shouldnt care..
but i think i cant..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
just stop it la..
can you??????

2010-04-07T16:48:00.002+08:00

studying in library now..
with faiz and all..
damn stressed..
no time no time no time!!
but on the bright side, next month's gonna be the start of the hols!!!!!!!!
:)
the good and the bad all on the same month..

had some crap meeting abt a teacher to attend to just now..
but i think all should be okay by next week..
its supposed to be a secret anyway..
ah..

things that happen just make me reflect..
friends..
ppl that laugh and joke with you..
ppl that you treat well and are honest and sincere with..
will it remain that way forever?
or will they like most cases, turn back to bite you one day?
its sad to think abt this..

ah..
whatever..
taking things with a pinch of salt..

gotta go back to studying..
4 wks left to go..
gotta make it man!!!
and i'm going for kelly clarkson's concert!!
hopefully, since i have the tickets..:)

thats all for now..

tata..

2010-03-16T16:43:00.003+08:00

haha..
so much for acting like you'd die..
knew you wouldn't..
thank goodness i didnt fall for it..
now i'm much more confident in all these nonsense..
i'll nv believe a single crap anymore..
cant be trusted..
all are the same..
ha..

2010-03-01T12:04:00.004+08:00

shut it down is nice!!!!!!
woo hooo!!!
"can't nothing hold me down..........
i'm gonna touch the sky!! "

haha..
anyway..
i'm happy..
my reputation's building up..
more ppl are recommending me..
but i turned some down cos no time..
yay!!
my dream's coming closer to me..
:)

thats all for now..
econs!!!
i'm gonna conquer you at all costs!!!!

tata..

2010-02-26T15:55:00.004+08:00

exams coming soon!!
seriously not prepared for the mock next week..
grr..
econs and ibm are killing me..
anyway..
had lotsa fun at the fun fair at marina last sunday..
damn fun..
been a long time since i had this thrill..
went on the roller coasters and stuff..
and the bumper cars!!
we were screaming like lunatics..
haha!!
the last time i was on a bumper car was when i was 9yrs old in thailand..
haha..
and thanks to saraphina for always trying to give me advices and straighten my thinking..
haha..
and faiz too for always entertaining me..
we may not be in the same class next yr..:(
but still..
and sara couldn't stop laughing at the talking carl in alex's iphone..
laugh until cry!!
seriously..
but it was funny..

okay..
gtg revise revise revise!!
lacking time..

thats all for now..

tata..
please just let me go..
stop..
okay?
it has already come to a point that it feels like you're harrassing me!!!!
its very obvious when i dun respond or reply to you..
right?

2010-01-17T13:08:00.002+08:00

got lotsa work to do!!!!!!!
no time no time no time!!
keep listening to paramore these days..
many things on my mind..

i tried hard to keep you away..
i dun wanna crumble at the last minute..
i planned everything such that it'll happen at the exact moment i want it to..
so that it wont affect me..
ah..
and you had to spoil it all by doing this last part..
to have to come back to singapore..
i dunno how to say and what to say..

i dun wanna fall..
there are many things waiting for me..

i'm sorry..
i'm really sorry..
there was no choice right from the start..
i can adapt..
time will do its trick..
i hope the same goes for you..
i'm sorry..

2009-12-14T14:05:00.003+08:00

on to my final theory next..
in next yr jan..

test tmr..
havent study..
so i hope he postpones it..

we were served drinks in jars the other day..
i couldn't help it..
i just laughed..
laughed damn hard..
haha..
it was just damn funny..
the waiter looked at me like i'm mad..

i just feel some sort like i'm empty now..
like BLANK..
you know..
like there's just nothing in me..
i dunno too..
but well, whatever..

and anyway..
i called in to play on 987 the other day..
and i won this hamper..
still yet to collect it..
haha..

busy with all my tuitions and studies..
good..
i'm trying to make do with this..
life..

and i'm gonna be trained to take over this company in the future..
which i dun really like..
haiz..
they say you dun have to study engineering to do construction..
you need experience..
but well..
what to do..
cant possibly disappoint them since they've put all their hopes on me huh..
but i have my own dreams and stuff..
dunno too..

thats all for now..

just read the news that a 98 yr old grandma strangled a 100 yr old granny to death..
wth is this world coming to???

2009-11-21T22:07:00.004+08:00

"i'm like a car, while you're like the fuel and tyres," he said.
"a car can't move or operate without fuel and tyres, just like how i can't be without you."
"that's how important you are to me."
thats what he said to me..
CRAP..
i hate listening to this kinda crap..
dun think i can trust anything coming out of the mouth of any guy..
i dunno how to say..
i guess i'm just damn scared..
what's that famous saying?
Love like you've never been hurt before?
It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
oh well..
what a load of crap they are..
total bullshit..

Gonna concentrate on whats more important..

things to catch up in sch..
homework to do..
and many many more..
haha..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-11-18T16:23:00.002+08:00

kinda happy with my studies..
doing well..:)))
esp accounting..:)

things are changing and i'm happy with it..
and i'm still busy busy busy..
should just delete things that are harming my soul eh?

haha..

i'm walking away now..
i'm already quite far from it..
shall go further..

and my BTT is in 2wks..
haha..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-11-07T10:50:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna make a mark..
i'm gonna make MY mark..
just watch me..

if i cant do it, i wont be angela koh..
just wait and see..

2009-11-04T08:12:00.002+08:00

bad things just keep happening..
accidents and what not..
but gd thing is that sth gd came out of the bad..
thank goodness..

and i'm not gonna be jobless afterall..:)))
got more jobs coming in ytd..
yay!!:)
tuition tuition tuition!!

you know..
many times i just wanna cry and cry and cry..
but i cant..
there's no space and time to do that..
it gets me so trapped..
trapped under my own skin..
haha..
what a joke..

thats all for now..
gonna be late for school!!

tata..
if only i can forget..

2009-10-26T10:55:00.002+08:00

finally got rid of the thing ytd!!!!!!!!!!
yay!!!!:)
selling it..
HAHAHAHAHA!!
she asked me whether i'm sure i really wanna sell it since its so pretty..
but yup..
i'm selling it with no regrets and no hesitation..
:)

anyway..
time is passing like so damn fast..
like its monday..
and its friday again in a wink..
no time..
or maybe cos there's too many things that i'm doing..
could be..
but its really great that time is flying by..
haha..

i'm gonna look for work again..
since now some kids are flying overseas for their hols..
so i have lesser tuition to give..
and i hate having free time..
gonna look for some part time or sth..
to earn money and to occupy my time..

busy busy busy..
thats what i want..
still yet to settle some stuffs..
dunno how to do it too..
haiz..

and phebe..
thanks lots..
seriously..
love ya!!:)

thats all for now..

tata..
love the night..
and i hate the night..

2009-10-22T08:09:00.002+08:00

i think my memory is failing me..
forgetting things in a split sec..
its annoying me..
but is it possible that i'll forget so much that there'll only be good happy memories left inside this head of mine?
haha..
it'll be a gd thing if that happens..
haha..

thats all for now..

i'm trying not to touch any part thats best left untouched..
best that i'm left in this state..:)

tata..
its as though it never happened or even existed..
great..

2009-10-21T08:09:00.001+08:00

healed.
mended.

2009-10-08T08:07:00.000+08:00

shit..
there's sth wrong with my blog..

2009-10-08T08:04:00.002+08:00

sending my little warrior to the psle battlefield today..
kinda nervous..
hopes he come back with victory..
haha..
math math math..

ever since shaen has gone to army, dylan has been listening to all my crap..
poor thing..
kinda pity him..
but he's a really good entertainer..
haha..
thanks man..:)
and thanks to shaen too for ytd..:)

thats all for now..

gotta go sch!!

tata..

2009-10-05T07:58:00.000+08:00

rude rude ppl..
tsk tsk tsk..

2009-10-03T14:14:00.001+08:00

healed..
but not quite so yet..
a bit more to go..
just doing my best to forget..

love accounting..:)

2009-09-30T07:58:00.002+08:00

had fun in sch ytd..:)
but as usual, econs is headache..
haha..
luckily jensen is kind enough to lend me his extra notes..
thank gdness..

stats today..
hope it's interesting..

and i'm back to the way i was..:)
at least for now..
haha..
i'm just doing my best to be happy..

thats all for now..

tata..
working towards my goal..
and my achievement..

and thanks to the ppl that helped me last wk..:)
thanks chi..:)

2009-09-23T18:02:00.002+08:00

my cousin's wedding this sat..
and another in dec..
another cousin had hers last month..
so many ppl are getting married..
haha..
i wish them all the happiness..

maybe i wont ever get married..
or maybe wait till i'm 30..
till i've achieved all i've ever wanted first..
HAHAHA..

marriage could be happiness..
but not marrying could maybe be saving you from future problems and sadness..
haha..
thats how i think it is..
my view on marriage..:)

thats all for now..
still have econs to make sense of..
and tutorials to do..
plus the dreaded intro to b&m tmr..
haiz..
hate that subject..

tata..
you make me dance like a fool..
forget how to breathe..
you make me smile..

2009-09-18T08:03:00.001+08:00

so my tuition kid's brother asked me out for dinner this sunday..
haiz..
kinda annoyed with all this stuffs for some reason..

thats all for now..

tata..
you make me smile like the sun..

2009-09-17T08:07:00.004+08:00

thanks donna..
for telling me all that ytd..
made me feel better..
really..:)
and i know i deserve better..
gotta engrave that into my head..
haha..:)

sch's not bad..
and i cancelled ytd's tuition for...........
haha..
it's good..
but it'll nv happen again..
at least i'll try..
haha..

thats all for now..

tata..
love the night..

2009-09-15T12:06:00.003+08:00

okay..
so i did it!!:)
haha..
it wasn't that bad..:)
it was kinda normal..
haha..
as usual..
first step..

thats all for now..
getting ready for sch!!

tata..
butterflies in my stomach when i see you..

2009-09-14T18:15:00.001+08:00

should be happy.
will be happy.

2009-09-11T18:04:00.004+08:00

recently just started teaching a p6 boy..
didnt want to take it actually..
but the mum approached me personally..
i requested for a damn high price cos i knew the parents definitely wont want it..
but turned out the mum agreed..
she wants me to teach her son after she heard the comments her friends said abt me..
i totally didnt expect her to agree..
but her son said i made him smarter so she feels that the price is worth it..
okay..
i'm happy too..:)

i love the challenges i'm facing..
and i like the compliments i receive..
made me more confident..

i'm working really hard for my own future..
and hopefully it'll turn out the way i want it to be..

and well, i still dun dare to ask..
haha..
i'll ask next week probably..
must muster the courage..
haha..

sch is starting next tues..
econs first lesson..
made 2 new friends as for now..
more to come..:)

thats all for now..

tata..
ice cream makes my day..:)
busy busy busy bee..:)

2009-09-08T13:22:00.002+08:00

maybe thinking bad things abt the stuffs will make you forget them easier?
maybe..
haha..
thinking thinking thinking..

love this song..
i make them good girls go bad..
sth like that..
by cobra starship..
love it!!:)

making myself so tired everyday so i wont have any energy to think abt anything..
good thing..:)

thats all for now..

tata..
living everyday for me, myself and i..
no longer for others..

2009-09-03T10:41:00.002+08:00

yay!!
so they've allowed me to pay my installments, by installments!!:)
finally..
haha..
they said the letter i wrote was very persuasive..
i'm the only one exception!!:)
happy!!:)

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-08-30T15:54:00.002+08:00

i dunno why..
it feels like that again when i see it..
aaaargh........
damn it..
should just get over it soon..

2009-08-26T10:17:00.002+08:00

maybe this is how its supposed to be..
so that i would be able to see the kinda person you really are..
haha..
i accept it..
at least knowing it now is a thousand times better than knowing it maybe 10yrs later..
it'd be too late for regret by then..
so yup..
embracing a new beginning with open arms..
:)

i'd never turn back..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-08-25T18:42:00.004+08:00

so many stuffs have happened and i either dun have time to update or just dun feel like it..
haha..

the song my happy ending by avril lavigne..
thats the song i wanna tell you..
and the lyrics that i wanna throw right at your face..
to you..
yes..
every single word of it..
the key word is were..

and i'm glad i have someone to talk to abt the stuffs on my mind..
thanks so much..:)
really..
you were always there to just listen..
and it really helps..:)
though i'm sorry i always find you when i'm troubled..
haha..
thanks man..:)

there's just one more person..
i dunno what to do..
i'm still waiting..
shld i really do what shaen said?
i dunno..
maybe next week?
hope its what i think it is..:)

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-08-14T12:52:00.000+08:00

you always walk away, just when i need you the most..

2009-07-22T10:01:00.004+08:00

officially 20 now..
older le..
thanks for everyone's wishes and blessings..:)
a bit diff this yr..
but anyway..
had fun the day before the actual day..
cos i had tuition so not free..
celebrated with my family..:)
and some others a few days before..:)
got a super pretty carousel..
its like a music box but plays music when you turn the horses..
haha..
love it!!:)

i was touched by what my family gave me..
almost cried..
the things they wrote..
it was so.....
i dunno how to say..
haha..
and on the cake, they wrote "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELA!! WE LOVE YOU!!" from mum and dad, sigmund, rachel and tracy..:)
it was damn sweet i tell you..:)

been kinda busy these few weeks..
tuition, tuition and more tuition!!!
gotta find a way to handle aaron today..
if not he'll just kp playing..
haiz..

and i dunno what to do..
its getting more and more obvious..
but i shan't be the one who ask or say first..
just in case..
wanna turn it back to the right direction..
but dunno how to..
aaaah..
shall let it be first..

and she didnt call this yr..
guess she must've received that email..
haiz..
dunno why i feel a bit bad..
but ya..
whats done is done..
if i've hurt you, i'm sorry..
thanks for all the concern you showed..
and for the calls for so many yrs..
but you're no longer part of my life now..
goodbye..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-07-17T11:36:00.002+08:00

i'm getting sick and tired of thinking ways to get around this prob..
its giving me a damn headache..
and i'm afraid that one will see the other..
aaargh.........
calm down..
its gonna be over soon..

tata..

2009-07-16T11:55:00.003+08:00

gave aaron tuition ytd..
and he told me abt his family..
it was so sad i wanted to cry..
haiz..
he wants so much to protect his mum but yet she keeps disappointing him..
a little 8yr old boy but talks like a man..
i wish i could do sth to help him..

anyway..
been helping my dad out with his work at jurong island..
thats when i realise that its really not easy doing his job..
the stress, pressure and challenges..
but i'm glad i'm the one standing there for the 4, 5 hrs and not him..
he'd be tired to death..
getting scolded by ppl yet you cant do anything cos your payment is done by them..
haiz..
but i kinda like it though..
the feeling you get when you manage to overcome the problem..
its wonderful..
i love challenges..
haha..
my dad's gonna make a pass for me to go in and out of jurong island..
and bringing me to meet percival and ferdie later i think..:)

thats all for now..
kinda excited..

there's this thought that keeps coming to my mind..
aaargh..
gonna find a way to stop it and solve the prob..

tata..

2009-07-11T18:01:00.002+08:00

started teaching tuition..
the first kid is a sec 1 girl..
she's kinda er.. i dunno how to describe..
but the little boy is cute and naughty..
american and indian mix..
yes..
seems impossible to make him sit straight..
haha..
both a challenge..
cos the girl's kinda slow..
and the boy is bright but well..
i only managed to complete 4 pages of his hw in 1.5hrs..
i feel like a failure..
haiz..

and i somehow feel better after saying it out..
though there's still a little bit of uneasiness left for some unknown reason..
but well..
at least we talked it out..
and he understands it..

been having so much stuffs on my mind..
think i'm gonna burst soon..
oh wells..
settled one..
some more to go..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-07-02T12:05:00.005+08:00

wed was my last day of work..
both happy and sad..
happy cos i wont have to see anymore of those hypocrites i work with..
sad cos i wont get to see all my friends working at the other shops and restaurants..
as in i can go see them and visit..
but its diff la..
played so much on my last day..
talked so much at gramophone..
disturbed fig and olive..
got free lunch and dinner and snacks and drinks..
lol..
played so much with raffie, yus and big guy..
pranked victor and the other part timers..
they said i'm very noisy..
and victor called me 'the crazy lady'..
haha..
damn funny..
had so much fun..:)
didnt get to see isaac though..:(
shall go visit him next time..

had fun working there..
from udders ice cream, sushi, bubble tea to cotton candy and pillow..
haha..
its good knowing all those ppl..
so gonna miss them all..

thats all for now..
2mths more to sch re opening..
kinda scared..
whatever..

tata..

2009-06-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

sad..
yup..
just really sad..
ah..
but what to do..
just get on with the next choice..
gotta learn from my mistakes..
no other choice now..
just freaking f**k it..
whatever..

and now..
another thing..
i'm still stuck..
k?
i'm just freaking stuck..
left or right?
nowhere man..
nowhere..
maybe one day i'll throw all those heavy weights away and just stand upright and walk straight again..
one day..
i know i will..
and i'll look back and be really sad abt it..
but tell myself that its all for the best..
and let everything stay in memory..
maybe thats what i'll do..
but i have no courage..
and no will..
haiz,..

2009-06-12T08:49:00.002+08:00

lalalalalalalalallala..
to hell with sanity..
i'm on a little boat..
rocked to and fro by the diff wind directions..
i know my ultimate goal and direction..
but still its kinda hard to move since i'm pushed around and affected by the winds..
whoa..
i know what i really really want..
but how is that even possible at all??????
goodness..
i'm outta my mind..
i've nv experienced this before..
i need to push the pulling force away..
haiz..
i'm falling fast down the deep hole in the ground..
falling deep and hard, head over heels for sth thats outta my reach..
why..........

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-06-04T09:02:00.002+08:00

interview was ytd..
thought it went okay..
but still yet to know the results..
kinda scared..
haha..

but ytd was damn fun too..:)
seriously..
the hopping machine was crazy..
haha!!
thank you..:)
really had a great time..:)

thats all for now..

tata..
gotta sort out so many stuffs in myself..
argh..

2009-05-28T09:29:00.003+08:00

totally surprised..
nv in my life did i thought i'd be spending the 27th with the person i should have spent it with..
wow..
unexpected..
fun though..
well..
happy 21st anyway..:)
nv thought it'd be this way too..

hope i can settle today well first..
hope he wont threaten that he wanna go die and stuff..
haiz..
i hate being the bad guy..
i feel so damn sad..
its too cruel..
shouldn't have even started in the first place if i know it'd be this way..
damn it..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-05-21T08:15:00.002+08:00

went esplanade last night..
donkey yrs since i last went there..
talked for a couple of hrs..
and i got to know him more..
he opened his heart to me..
as in he said things abt his family and stuffs that no one really knew..
he showed his emotions..
first time i see this side of him..
not sth bad..
at least its better than having ppl keeping stuffs from you eh?

felt kinda diff ytd..
and i really dunno what to do anymore..
i want to be there and yet i know its wrong..
haiz..
whatever la..

waiting for the letter in early june..
at least thats what they said in the email..
hmm..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-05-11T10:22:00.004+08:00

i think i'm superficial..
i really think i am..
kinda disapointed in myself..
why oh why?
shouldn't be thinking abt it..
yet i can't seem to help myself..
ah..
thinking abt all sorts of stuffs..
the past, the present, as well as the future..
the past is long gone..
but it stays in my memory..
for good i guess..
seeing that particular word reminds me of so many things, brings back so many memories and feelings that i thought i had gotten rid of and left behind..
how wrong i was..
ha..
the present..
its uncertain..
so much differences that makes me really wonder how it actually happened..
but yet ppl can be so determined..
i dun understand..
ppl making vows and promises to god to make a difficult relationship work and for him to marry someone who's so diff..
there's ppl in this world trying to make an impossible relationship work..
yet there are ppl who give up a relationship that could probably work..
weird huh..
i dun understand..
the future..
i dunno what lies in store for me..
i'm not ready..
not at all..
i'm not even sure of the present..
cant even forget the past..
wth..

he hates seeing me sad..
so i'm like trying to be happy or at least show a happy face recently..
my sadness can make him do crazy stuffs..
haiz..
i dunno..
he's perfect yet so imperfect at the same time..
this is so wrong..
so bloody wrong..

tell you sth funny..
i'm not eating pork for his sake..
so he doesn't eat fishballs just cos i dun like it..
he said he wanna do sth for me cos i'm like giving up what i like for him..
i was like.. huh??
so funny and nonsensical..
haha..

and oh ya..
i may be working at suntec part time..
not really sure yet..
yet to confirm with my boss..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-04-27T08:13:00.003+08:00

so hmm..
yes..
i guess history did repeat itself..
but some things were diff this time..
his reactions to it..
far from what i expected..
pleasant surprise..:)
i was so worried abt him..
he took it really well..
haha..:)
different different different..:)

i dunno..
i'm playing a diff role this time..
i used to be the 'trying to make him happy' character..
but now i'm the receiving end..
it feels diff and so much better..
but i know how it feels to be the giving person..
so yup..
i'm not gonna treat him the way i was treated..
and i appreciate the things he did..
not gonna TRY to appreciate like some ppl do..

anyway..
this thurs is my official last day at work as full time..
but my boss pleaded with me to stay and help him..
so i think i'll still be working there but as part time..
as in like maybe 2 days a wk or sth..
yus was so damn sad when he knew..
haha..
funny..

now i believe..
that there's always sth or someone better than what i had thought was the best..
now i know..:)

thats all for now..

tata..
when you slammed the front door shut, lots of others opened up..
so did my eyes, so i could see that you nv were the best for me..

i can still rmb..
you said that if it were any other guy who's not you..
they would've ran away..
but let me tell you sth..
you are so so so so so so WRONG..

2009-04-23T10:10:00.002+08:00

i hope he's okay..
i'm really sorry for what happened..
seriously..
i dunno what to expect..
or what to do..
will their reactions be what i think it'd be?
i'm very pessimistic at the moment..
oh god..
i cant wait to find out..
but i'm scared too..
i hope history wont repeat itself..
i have faith..
but does he?
thats sth i'm gonna find out later..

thats all for now..
just hope for the best..

tata..
the things we did..
let it bring you faith..
i hope..
please..
i'm sorry..

2009-04-21T08:34:00.002+08:00

haha..
this is damn funny..
why does things have to always happen in such a funny and stupid way....
i dun understand..
now things have come to a point that its hard to revert back to the way it was..
ahhhhhhh....
seriously..
he says he loves me..
yes..
love..
but he says he knows i'm not so sure yet..
he's sad with my answer though..
but he said he'll give me time to get to know him and accept him for who he is..
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
i dunno how i feel too..
sometimes the things he says really makes me go weak at my knees..
really..
he is so sweet..
yet so pitiful..
we're getting really close now..
i dunno how to stop everything..
the feeling he gives me is sth i've nv ever felt before..
its really nice..

but well..
yes..
we're so diff..
sometimes things just have to happen this way yea..
let you meet such a nice guy but you just have no choice..

thats all for now..

tata..
confused to the max.........................

2009-04-20T08:39:00.003+08:00

i know i'm walking in the wrong direction now..
and yet i dunno what to do abt it..
ytd was even better..
ah.........
he's really very different from that first guy..
lol..
some of the things he says really touched me..
i dunno..

someone tell me what to do ya..
if only he weren't who he is..
if only our religion and stuffs weren't so diff..
:(

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-04-19T10:18:00.002+08:00

i dunno what to do..
as in he says lotsa stuffs..
he says he'll make me happy..
and he says he live his life for me..
and he calls me his baby..
and he really takes care of me and stuffs..
ah.....................................................
i dunno..
as in he's really sweet and stuff..
he's very fun too..
but its all wrong la..
wrong wrong wrong......
how..
hmm..
dunno..
shall see how it goes then..
i cant pull myself away..
either..

and i'm getting really late for work now..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-04-17T09:55:00.003+08:00

hmm..
so victor smokes too..
was kinda surprised when i saw him lighting up..
haha..
dun judge a book by its cover eh?
haha..
i kp telling him to smile..
so funny..
so now everytime he sees me, he'll give me a super big smile..
haha!!

ytd was bakat's birthday..
and he sent 2 slices of cake over..
damn nice..
so i made him a card..
super funny..
they were laughing like mad when they all saw what i wrote..
haha!!

and i just realise ytd that mickey mouse and teddy bear dunno that yus is smsing me..
funny..
okay..
and he told me not to tell them..
i shall comply then..
nonsense ppl..
haha..
but ya la..
they're fun ppl..
hafiz and syamil are working today!!!!!!!!!!!!
yay!!!
:)

i'm getting late alr..
its 10.20 now..
shoots..

thats all for now..
gotta keep my distance from mickey mouse..
or rather tell him to keep his distance..
afterall he's the one getting married next yr and not me..
haha..

tata..
they make me smile..:)

you're the reason for the teardrops on my pillow..
but its ending soon..
really soon................

i think i've changed much earlier than i thought..:)
its a gd sign..:)))

2009-04-15T08:09:00.002+08:00

working today..
i kinda look forward to it for some unknown reason..
haha..

i realise i'm more at peace than i thought i'd ever be..
seriously..
well done angela..:)
*twirls and takes a bow*

and now here comes another prob..
he says what he wants is to make me happy everyday..
ah..
i dunno..
here comes this kinda nonsense again..
this is from a diff person, in case you're confused..
i dun wanna suffer another heartbreak whatsoever again..
even though this guy is so super diff from that first guy..
its funny in the way that i actually kinda believe in what this guy says you know..
maybe its his character and the way he says it that makes me believe..
he's the super down-to-earth, straight and playful kinda person..
i hope he'll really make me happy..
as friends though..
crazy huh..
i think so too..
i'm going mad..
but we're friends..
only..
nothing more..
yes..
seeing him tmr..
not today..
haha..

maybe this is all i'm left with to believe in..
seriously..
i dun believe in anything else anymore..
especially words that come out from a guy's mouth..
let me just trust one more time..
just this once..
let me believe that not all guys are the same..
well, he himself says he's diff from that first guy..

lets see where things go shall we?
and how true the things he said are..
i shall take things as they come..
but i learnt my lesson well..
so dun worry..:)

oh ya!!!!!!
ppl!!!
my phone is back in use alr!!!!
woo hoo~!!!!!!!!!!!
since ytd..
haha..

thats all for now..

tata..
in case you worry or anything..
i know what i'm doing and i'll be fine..
i'm not mixing with the wrong ppl..
dun be so superficial..
like what i said..
not all smokers are bad..
and doesn't mean that all non-smokers are gd either..
you're one great example..
haha..:P
i wont be getting into a new one so soon..
so rest assured..
whatever la..
thats all..

2009-04-13T13:40:00.002+08:00

okay..
so i've moved hse alr..
to lakeside..
woke up super early today..
6am..
damn tired..

anyway..
i'm really tired..
of everything..
thought it through..
and yup..
guess things might probably be the best the way they are now..
i dunno..
i cant say for sure..
but i know i've definitely changed..

working on wed..
miss mickey mouse alr..
and hafiz too..
mata besar..
lol..
haha..

i'm getting sick too..
sore throat..
and coughing a bit..
sobs..
tired..

thats all for now..

tata..
i need to find a way out of this tiring cycle..
thank you..
for doing all these to me..
and ya..
i still love the poster you gave me..
haha..
whatever..

2009-04-09T08:08:00.002+08:00

ytd my sales were damn bad..
like super super bad..
first time in history i couldn't even hit 200..
i was shocked..
ting was even more shocked than me..
lol..
kept asking me why and what happen to me..
ha..

anyway..
i'll still be working ppl..
till they're able to find a replacement..
whatever..
it doesn't matter now..

i dunno what to feel and what to do..
like seriously..
actually thought of sth..
but after i saw sth else, i just dunno if i shld anymore..
haha..
maybe it hadn't matter at all..
maybe it just never had..
haha..
cant believe my stupidity..
oh well..
time to wake up, angela..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-04-08T08:14:00.002+08:00

what shld i say..
was i too optimistic?
was i too hopeful?
ha..
thought everything would go well huh..
what stupid foolish dumbass thought that is..
it faded and i didnt even realise it..
wtf..
i kept believing in it..
in you and myself..
that everything's gonna turn out fine the way i planned it..
but little did i expect you weren't as strong as i thought..
as selfless as i thought..
you were a selfish person..
i dun even know whether the word 'person' is a correct word to use on someone like you..
i thought you changed..
ah..
yes, you changed..
to someone i nv know..
the person i knew had died so long ago..
i dun understand..
i really dun..
i feel stupid..
i really do..
the pacts and promises made..
are they just for show or what?
when i pretended to be on the verge of breaking the promise, you reminded me of it..
i thought you still cared..
but hell no..
when you really broke that promise..
and i reminded you of it..
you dun give a fucking damn..
you only thought abt yourself and your happiness..
what abt mine???
what abt me?????????
' i tried to appreciate'
you TRIED to appreciate????
damn you..
who do you think you are?
bloody hell..
i thought your mum likes to call me?
why doesn't she call now?
why didnt she snatch the phone from you this time?
why didnt she shout or say anything in the background?
cos its her bloody son's fault!!!!!!!!!!!!
you all are the same i tell you..
i hate you..
seriously..
i fucking hate you..
i will nv die without you..
you dream on..
till the day you wake up from your dreams and selfish world, i will nv in my life be your friend..
i will nv have a friend like you..
i'll be ashamed if i were your friend..
seriously..
i wonder how your friends will feel if they know this is how their friend treat his gf..
bloody hell..
like what ting said..
you're so not worth my time..
selfish and immatured..
the promises that you made to me..
haha..
i wonder what they actually mean to you..

i think its a little late for me to run now..
should've started running away long ago..
but my beliefs kept me rooted i guess..
but i think its still not too late..
i'll run..
i'll start running now..
away from the man behind that mask of the face i thought i knew so well..
he died so long ago and i didnt even know it..
ha..
nv seen a more dumb person than me eh?
i think so too..

thank goodness my friends were there..
especially yus and komang and mickey mouse..
really..
and ting too..
and luckily i'm working too..
thanks to you all for cheering me up k?
haha..:)
mickey mouse was a big big big big help..
really wanna go figo with them this fri..
tsk..

thats all for now..

tata..
you're just dead and gone..
totally..

2009-04-04T11:29:00.002+08:00

thank goodness i still have my friends at work..
not talking abt the ppl working with me though..
like mickey mouse and yus..
glad i have them..
and their nonsense too..
haha..
doing so much nonsense with them everyday..
but they're good at noticing my mood changes too..
i'm so surprised..
haha..
thanks for cheering me up..:)

gave ezaty a card ytd..
and she was so touched..
haha..:)
will miss that girl lots..:)

working again tmr..
totally tired today..
drop dead tired..
zzzzzzzzzz............

thats all for now..

tata..
cheer up k?:)
sorry for being so busy..:(

2009-04-02T08:27:00.002+08:00

watched penelope..
its so nice..
was laughing half the time..
haha..
but its a really nice show..:)
loved their soundtrack..
was searching for it like crazy and i finally found it..:)
nice lyrics too..
using it as my blog song..:)

cristian gave us a treat ytd..
but he did it very discreetly la..
haha..
so grateful anyway..:)
colin's last day today!!:(
izzati's tmr......:(((
sobs..
mine will be next wk..
den i wont be able to see mickey mouse alr..:(
sadded..
but i'll come back to see them..:)
i promised mickey mouse..:)

thats all for now..
a new girl's coming to train today..

tata..

2009-03-30T09:18:00.002+08:00

ah..
going to work soon..
enjoy working..
and yes..
i'll be quitting my job around 8th of april i guess..
then it's moving hse and looking for a new job..
so gonna be quite busy for the next few weeks..
haha..
hmm..
there's still a dvd waiting for me to watch later..

thats all for now..
gtg prepare first..

tata..
let me believe in myself..
let me have faith..

2009-03-24T09:23:00.002+08:00

long time since i last blogged..
quitting my job soon..
at the end of this mth..
have other impt stuffs to do..
like my job but ya..
anyway..
working is fun..
been playing with the ppl opp..
doing nonsense..
haha..
plus free food..:P
hung out a bit last night with yus and rafi and their gang..
they're very nice ppl..:)
and hafiz kp waving..
hahaha..

i think there's free breakfast again today..
yus asked whether i want kebab or sandwich..
haha..
gonna miss them all after i quit..
gonna enjoy my last days here to the max..
haha..

thats all for now..

tata..
i'm glad and really happy you did well for the interview..
gd job!!:)

2009-03-03T08:06:00.006+08:00

ytd was damn funny..
fig and olive were super entertaining..
making us laugh like crazy..
haha..
and somebody passed a note to us saying that we could eat for free..
just need to call him..
and he put his no there..
dots..

anyway..
we were damn bored the other day so we decided to take photos..
so here's presenting to you..
me and crystal..

i dunno what she's looking at..

and my face looks damn big..

a nicer shot.. finally..:P

gtg now..

gonna shop a bit with my mum before i start work..

and i got my second pay cheque!!

its not bad actually..

hahahaha..

and a lvls are coming out this fri..

wth..

damn worried..

my mum's damn happy though..

dunno for what reason..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-02-23T09:51:00.003+08:00

my middle finger hurts..
tsk..
i mean at the bone there..
and i didnt use it to point at anybody..
really......
i think i must've hit against sth hard while working cos felt the pain during one of those days..
but didnt really care..
but now, even after ten thousand yrs, its still hurting.....:(((((
i think maybe i broke a bone or sth..
hopefully not..
its quite painful actually..
tsk..

working is fun nowadays..
except for that stupid edwin..
"i have no replacement"
if lets say sth happen to me one day, i tell you, he is going to die..
he die also dun wanna come to take over his employees..
even for a few hrs..
ass..
father fairy (inside joke)..
dun understand why he dun wanna get a part timer..
idiot..

and that crystal too..
kp finding ways to take advantage..
shall say what she say to me the next time..
asses..

hope today'll be a good one..:)

thats all for now..
running late!!!
downloaded stuck with each other..:)

tata..

2009-02-19T08:30:00.003+08:00

bakerzin breakfast.
chocolates.
surprises.
pink guava.
16 feb.
thats how i like it..:)

and working can nv be more fun and embarrassing these days..
haha..
esp ytd..
wth..
we were all damn high..
except for crystal..
again..
which is..
normal..
cos she's pissed..
with me..
and at herself..
cos she got less..
whatever..

gtg prepare for work now..
working everyday this wk..
GRRRRR..

they say i'm playful and funny..??
hmm..
haha..
maybe..
whatever..

tata..

2009-02-16T08:57:00.002+08:00

eat and eat and eat and eat..
thats what i've been doing in malaysia for the past 2 days..
haha..
like 4 or 5 meals a day..

fri was fun..
working with jun wen..
damn funny..
but crystal seriously piss me off..
was so angry i just left..
but anyway..
and luck has been with me for almost a week..
hope it stays..:)
gonna go prepare for work now..

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-02-13T08:53:00.003+08:00

ah..
so well..
gd things and bad things can both happen on the same day..
and gd things do happen one day after another huh..
but seriously..
i dun think the gd luck is gonna last for today..
shall tell you how it goes soon..
wen jun is coming to help out today..

actually its funny la..
valentine's day is coming and the guys that come into the shop all have this blank look on their faces..
dunno what to buy for gf..
and they just somehow grab the first thing that caught their eye..
and if lets say 3 guys come into the shop tgt, i tell you, they'll end up buying the same things..
just that they'll each take a diff design..
funny..
if not then some guys will look so helpless and they'll just take whatever recommendations you give..
looking at these ppl make me wanna laugh..
haha..

thats all for now..
busy busy..

tata..

2009-02-12T08:26:00.003+08:00

gd thing edwin came last night..
so the person had to wait outside..
we took quite long so in the end we managed to slip out without him seeing..
haha..
but everyday's not a lucky day la huh..
hope nth of that sort will happen today..
he kept waving and waving and i just pretend i didnt see..
isaac was damn funny..
gave me damn retarded solutions..
like acting mentally retarded or disabled..
showed me how i should do it too..
HAHA..
and his facial expressions and stories can just leave me laughing the whole day..
haha..

and ytd was my new record..
sold 8 pairs of cufflinks!!
haha..
yay..:)
and for the past few days i met ppl i havent seen in ages..
like joanne..:)
it was really nice to see her again after so long..
she could hardly recognise me though..
and zhou laoshi too..:)
saw her ytd during her lunch break..
haha..
plus miss tan and many others..

k la..
gonna go bathe now..
shall be there early today..
and hopefully, today's another lucky day..

thats all for now..
tata..

2009-02-11T08:21:00.002+08:00

so..
my hse is sold..
so yup..
will be moving hse in a few mths time..
dunno to where yet..
gonna miss this hse..
nv lived anywhere for so long before..
almost 10yrs..

anyway..
ytd..
kind of a nightmare..
later the person come again today then i die..
tsk..
its like..
aiya..
dunno how to say..
a bit scary..
but finally got him off my back..
then crystal kp laughing..
pray hard that he's gonna be busy tonight..
i am so gonna leave shop the moment we close..

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..

tata..

2009-02-04T08:15:00.002+08:00

bought a pouch for my mum..
heh..
think it made her happier..
haha..
though she'd nv admit it la..
but my dad said she likes it especially the colour..
we're talking a bit now..
:)

fig and olive..
they were damn entertaining..
haha..
blasting songs and dancing and shaking away..
especially the big sized chef..
haha!
fun..:)

thats all for now..
gtg bathe cos the hdb guy is coming to take photo of the hse..
tired..
yawnable..
hope edwin wont call me later..

tata..

2009-02-02T09:05:00.000+08:00

broken strings..
james morrison..
damn nice!!!!!:)

2009-02-02T08:28:00.003+08:00

peili came to visit me on fri..
asked my sis where i was working at..
lol..
its like so long since i last saw her..
haha..
and abbie, ah tiong, jasmine and shirlyn came on sat..
and i caught a glimpse of jeremy too!!
haha..
was waving like some mad woman and i totally forgot abt the customer in front of me..
oops..
missed them alot..

anyway..
went out ytd..
had steamboat dinner at his relative's hse..
was kinda paiseh cos his aunt kept putting food into my bowl..
and his mum too..
they thought i ate very little but i actually ate more than him lo..
haha..
and he almost tricked me into eating a fishball!!
goodness..
luckily i saw it in time..
bleh!!:P
there was so many ppl at the gathering..
first time in my life go to such a huge family gathering..
and i lao-ed yusheng for the first time too..
he was damn surprised i nv lao before..
but ya..
haha..
had fun..:)

then we went jp after that..
walked around and saw isaac..
he kept giving me that nonsensical face..
haha..
and its the last day i'm seeing shela..:(
next time gotta go lot 1 to see her le..:(

then it was starbucks with java chip frapp!!:)))))
talked and played so much..
talked so much nonsense..
haha..

and yes..
i know i am so not photogenic..
thats why i hardly put pics of myself..
so see me in person ppl..
haha..
but i was able to take a nice shot ytd after like thousands of retakes..:P

tsk..
my com ar..
keep popping up the 'security system has detected spyware infection'..
so i scanned the thing..
and i realised that they kept asking me to buy the software to protect my com..
so i decided to just ignore it..
and now it says 'blah blah blah worm has been detected trying to send your credit card no to a remote host on the internet'..
what nonsense..
its like sending me millions of alerts saying my com will crash and whatever thing to try to get me to buy and install its product..
but i'm not stupid..
BLEAH!!:P

okay..
thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..

happy day ytd!!:)
loves..

tata..

i love the new you..:)

2009-01-30T09:00:00.003+08:00

ah..
ppl do change..
for the better..
dun they?:)
hope this change will be permanent..:)

thats all for now..
still not talking to my mum..

tata..

2009-01-29T09:55:00.002+08:00

ytd..
saw 'stars' in the storeroom..:)
love it..:)
had caramel frapp too..
though not as nice as java chip but still..
haha..
went home quite late ytd cos kept talking and playing at starbucks..:)
though it was quite short, but its quality time spent that counts..:)
happy ytd..:)

today..
my mum's not talking to me for the millionth time??
and its over the same stupid issue again..
i tell you..
everyone is so gonna laugh and find it damn ridiculous if you all know what she got angry over..
its fking stupid..
and so we're not talking..
and so she told me not to call her..
whatever la..
she said she wont talk to me even if i apologise or kneel down in front of her..
as if i will..
and i dun care..
BLEAH!!!!!

gtg work now..
stupid things that spoil my day..
aaargh..

tata..

2009-01-28T09:07:00.002+08:00

starting work again today..
cny was abit unusual this yr..
we didnt go visiting or what..
just praying at the temple on the second day..
but its like one of the best cny so far..:)
spent time at home, watched dvds, eat, play, slp, talk..
my mum cooked damn lot so she kept stuffing us like mad..
haha..
we went for a walk at the nature reserve too..
long time since we last spent time like this tgt..:)
happy..:)

eating thai quite frequently these days..:)
and ytd was steamboat..:)
its gd to have a change sometimes..:)
and my boss gave us angbao too..:)

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..

tata..

2009-01-22T09:17:00.002+08:00

chi came to see me the day before..:)
and thanks for your barley girl..:)))
long time since i last drank barley..
haha..
come again soon!!:)

ytd saw leow..
and he talked to me for a short while..
said i looked diff..
lol..
actually its kinda nice to see him again..
kinda miss his math lessons..
haha..
and he told me to get an army bf..
like dots...........
-.-!!

anyway..
me and my mum are okay alr..:)))
and me and crystal are okay alr too..:)
seems like she realise her mistakes?
whatever..

hope that the tan dizi wont come today..
he's actually our customer..
but he's scaring me and crystal..
as in he's a really nice and friendly and crappy person who entertains us alot..
but he asked for no so we gave the shop's no and he kept calling and i kept passing the phone to crystal..:P
and he gave us a carton of oranges too..
den he gave us his namecard and told us to sms him whether we find it nice a not..
he said he might be popping by cos he need to buy some stuffs..
hope not..

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..
pray hard he's not coming..

tata..

i'm thinking..
is it really that boring?
as in its not like we have a choice..
i have to work..
i dunno la..
and i've always been trying..
its not like you dunno..
and now you're doing just a bit and you're complaining..
ah..
why?

2009-01-19T09:30:00.002+08:00

fed up..
irritated..
we're not talking again..
ya..
like AGAIN..
whatever..
stupid nonsense..
if thats all you're ever concerned abt, then fine..
so be it..
hate quarrelling over the stupidest and smallest of issues..
wtf..

and crystal too..
i'm not in a gd mood now..
hope she dun do it again today..
i was trying my best to control myself and not scream at her ytd..
if she does it again today i might just tell her off..
or tell edwin..
me not saying it doesn't mean i'm okay with it..
just that i'm giving you another bloody chance to correct yourself..

thats all for now..
gonna go prepare for work..

tata..

lime green skinnies..:)

and yes..
i dun like to walk behind..
i hate it..

2009-01-16T09:28:00.003+08:00

ytd was really my show day..
did super well..:)
overshot what i expected..
haha..:)
the art of persuasion and sweet talking..
goodness..
and yes..
being observant too..
i sold 5 pairs of cufflinks ytd!!!!!!!!!
omg..
nv before in any crystal's history..
lol..
haha..:)

yuqin finally came ytd..
after so long..
that nonsense girl..
tsk..
haha..

and ya..
totally into superhuman now..
love that song..
:)

eileen can be so urgh!!
cant stand her..
was making calls and reading the papers when she's supposed to be working..
TSK!!!!!!!
wth..
and she left early too..
left me alone doing the settlements and cleaning up..
and it took me almost an hour just to do settlements..:(

thats all for now..
gtg prepare if not i'll be late..

tata..

jia you!!:)
i know you can do it..:)

2009-01-15T09:13:00.002+08:00

listening to superhuman now..
think its damn nice..
haha..
today i'm the one opening and closing the shop and doing all the settlements..
woo..
nv done that before and i'm gonna do my best today since crystal's having off day..

eh pantats..
thanks for coming ytd..
you all made me so much less sleepy..
i totally woke up..
i dun even need the coke..
haha..
come again soon pantats!!!!!!:)
miss you all so much..:)
esp donna..
so long since i last saw her..
haha..

k la..
gtg prepare..
dun wanna be late..

thats all for now..

tata..

thank you..:)

2009-01-14T09:24:00.003+08:00

ah..
i dunno..
mixed feelings i guess..
dunno what to do too..
just plain unlucky last night..
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
but it got me thinking abt lotsa stuffs..
make me so damn confused..
what should i do??

anyway..
saw hanqing ytd..
as in he saw me la..
totally scared me..
cos i didnt look up den they asked abt the thing i was holding..
then he suddenly asked me what sch i'm from..
lol..
then i looked up and saw hanqing..
damn funny..
the surprised sound i made was damn loud..
haha..

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..
i'm working everyday this wk cos mandy's not free..
sunday half day though..
cos mandy's coming in the morn..
i'll be taking the rest of the day..
ah..
tired..
ate one meal for the whole ytd..
one cheese bread..
haha..

tata..
cant i just have sth i really really want???
ah..
save me..

2009-01-13T08:50:00.003+08:00

worked ytd..
edwin called me last min to replace another girl..
but at least i'm confirmed alr..:)
yay!!:)
got my last mth's pay alr..
but i think my parents need it more than me..
so ya..
gonna give them my card later..
nvm la..
my new pay will be out soon..:)

oh ya..
cufflinks are my new love ppl!!!!!
omg..
they are so freaking pretty!!!!!!!!!
when crystal showed me ytd i almost screamed cos they're so nice!!
usually i see only those normal ones outside..
thats why..
i gave her a shock..
haha..
but they're expensive too..
gonna start saving money..
feel like buying nice ones to collect..
haha..
think i'm going crazy..
but they're really really pretty!!
gonna force my future husband to wear them next time..
haha!!
kidding la..

anyway..
he got into the semis for the audition!!
yay!!
i'm really happy for him..
good job!!
but i dunno whether i'll be free to go watch this wk..
hopefully can..........

crystal is alot nicer now..
as in compared to the first time where its hard to talk to her..
ytd was so much better..

gtg prepare for work now..
my sis is nagging at me like an old granny......
tsk..
though its not even 9am yet..
but i'll go prepare just to shut the old granny up..
ah..
annoying..
the big sis scared of the smaller sis..
what kind of a world is this........

thats all for now..

tata..

2009-01-12T08:19:00.005+08:00

ytd was no work day..
yay..:)
went to watch an audition at jp..
you sang well, as in really..:)
haha..
went to walk walk around..
then subway-ed, benten cafe-ed..
oh, the parfait at the benten cafe was really nice!!
except the bottom though..
thought it tasted like liang cha with cereals..
haha..
and i was damn happy in yamakawa..
shall not say why, but yes, what you said made me damn happy..:)
went to the stingray wallet shop too..
i was mumbling "dun buy , dun buy" to the aunty beside me..
and he scolded me cos i was quite loud, according to him la..
though i really didnt think so.........:(
then we causeway point-ed..
was really happy ytd..
talked alot and did lotsa stuffs..:)
and i let him listen to some of my songs which were labelled by some ppl as "gangster songs".....
and he agreed with them too..
lol..
at least better than you watching those stupid vids..
hahahaha..
had so much fun ytd..
its been like almost ten thousand yrs since we last spent time like that..
and some of the things you said are still stuck in my head..
think it wont go away..
haha..
though there are some missing parts that i forgot (which you refuse to repeat!!) but the overall meaning is still there..:)
:)

oh ya..
we went to watch bedtime stories last week..
nice movie..
but was damn funny..
haha..
suddenly got reminded of the guinea pig's face and eyes..
HAHAHAHA..

thats all for now..
my off-day today..
tired..
gonna spend time resting..
work tmr!!
mandy is a really nice person..:)
and we could click pretty well..
we were talking like we knew each other for yrs..
and i realise that i can make friends quite well..
hahahaha..
self-praise..:P
but seriously, its true..

gonna meet my parents for breakfast later..:)
hope i wont die of starvation first..

thats all for now..

tata..

thanks for the fries the other day..
as in its not the fries that i'm thanking for..
but the thought itself..
its the FIRST time you did such things..
after so long..
it has always been me..
kinda surprised..
and happy!!:)
some changes?
haha..
thank you..:)

2009-01-10T08:53:00.002+08:00

ytd was first day..
crystal was nice to me, unlike how the others described her..
hmm..
but it was a bit hard to like really talk to her, like crap or play around..
unlike how i could play with isaac just after 15mins and talking nonsense..
its totally different with crystal..
a bit hard to find topics to talk but ya..
gotta try since we're gonna be colleagues..
and she better continue to be nice to me if not life's gonna be hard for the both of us..
haha..
but i think i touched her with my kind heart la..
HAHA..:P
today mandy's coming..
some unknown girl that i'll be working with today..
all the best to me..
its a bit suffocating there..
dunno why..
maybe cos i'm used to walking around in big shops le..
dunno..
but gotta get used to it soon..

jia you angela!!:)

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..
today's gonna be another long day..
kinda miss isaac and the rest..
haha..

tata..

2009-01-09T11:13:00.002+08:00

finally my internet connection is back to normal..
yay..
lotsa stuffs been happening over the last wk..
shall not say much but some include me quitting my job and meeting up with fibb..
haha..
gonna start working at my new shop today..
also at jp though..
cant seem to escape from that place..
haha..
my colleague is known to be hard to get along with..
gonna try my luck today..

tata..

2009-01-02T08:26:00.009+08:00

sth wrong with my phone ytd..
totally no reception..
couldn't receive anything until this morning..
tsk..

on fri i was the cashier..
kaze taught me and it was damn scary and exciting cos kaze went for his break and i keyed in sth wrong..
i called him but there was no reception..
i was going crazy cos the customer was looking at me and there were ppl waiting to pay..
i kept pressing all the buttons and somehow i managed to void the thing..
but it was damn exciting and fun..
love being the cashier..
its like you nv know when you're gonna make another mistake..
haha..:)

anyway..
saw ken and his gf ytd..
we were so damn surprised to see each other..
haha..
chatted quite a bit and he left after that..
its nice seeing old friends again..:)

ytd was new yr and shela's birthday and kaze's last day..
so we planned a birthday surprise for shela..:)
bought the cake, called jessica back, hid the plates and drinks..
haha..
we were damn scared cos shela was having stomachache earlier..
but luckily she was better after i went around to get warm and hot water for her..:)
we closed early and she didnt suspect anything..
i lighted the cake outside and we waited for her outside the storeroom..
and off the lights and started singing birthday song for her when she came out..:)
she was so happy and touched that she teared..
haha..
she said its her first time spending birthday without parents and outside philippines..
but she said it was a really great birthday and she loved it!!:)

shela the happy bday girl..:)

shela and the planners..:)

thats all for now..

isaac's coming over to help out later..:)

and kaze has made me like more jap songs, like konayuki..:)

tata..

you're the one that needs to spend more time with your family..

you're the one that doesn't spend enough time with your family..

i dun understand why cant you just be more family-oriented too??

instead of saying that me being family-oriented is the prob??!

its abt finding a solution and not abt running away or avoiding the prob..

if things dun go the way you want it, then do sth to MAKE it go the way you want it..

i'm not giving you my answer yet..

2008-12-31T07:47:00.005+08:00

woke up super early today..
my parents went out and forgot to take his phone..
called me to bring it down for him and now i cant slp..
tired..
today's the last day of 2008..
tmr's a new day and new yr..
and i hope everything will be better in the coming new yr..

anyway..
you dun have to give me any explanation.
all i ever wondered is whether you've asked yourself the same qns you asked me.
all you ever showed me in your self explanation is that you're still the same confused person.
when will you be sure of what you want or dun want?
i dunno.
you're still the way you were 2mths ago.

ytd me and yuehang were playing so much..
he thought i was going crazy..
first time seeing me jumping around and singing and laughing so much..
and he kept annoying me..
haha..
had so much fun ytd..:)

but well..
i'm quitting my job soon..
may still work at the same place or maybe not..
see how first..
wait till they can find a replacement then i'll leave..
maybe end of this wk is my last wk..
havent told my parents yet..
only my sis..
but i'm sure they'll be fine with it..
its not the work that i dun like..
its the pay..
cos they're planning a cut starting 1st jan..
so i'm not staying on..
decided the moment shela told me..
"angela.. er.. are you okay with the pay?"
"no!"
yup..
thats how i said it..
with the exclamation mark in my tone..
haha..
i think my face showed my unhappiness la..
but some are okay with the pay though..
whatever..
i'm not..

thats all for now..
gonna go try grab some slp before i have to leave for work..
gonna enjoy my last few days there..
yuehang was damn sad by my decision..
asked me to stay on and pei him..
but nothing can change my mind once i'm set on it..
gonna miss all the fun with him though..
sad..

HAPPY 2009 PPL!!:)

tata..

finally found that jap band i was talking abt..
love psychedelico!!
freedom is so nice..:)

rehab-rihanna..:)
loved..:)

2008-12-29T14:13:00.002+08:00

waited.
stared.
emo-ed.
laughed.
teared.
smiled.

i dun understand why you asked.
why.
for what.
why the hell.

see no diff.
feel no diff.
and there will be no diff.

but from now on, there will be a diff.
for me.
definitely.
starting now.
HA.

mayching and her sis and mum came ytd..
thanks for the curry puff..:)
and for the nonsense..
realised i missed my friends alot..
and sch too..

had quite alot of fun with yuehang and kaze ytd..:)
the gun and nonsense talking..
haha..
i think kaze has influenced me into liking this particular jap band alot..
i think its damn nice..
heh..
off day today..:)
its gd to spend time with family..:)
its all getting better..:)

thats all for now..

tata..

2008-12-24T09:30:00.002+08:00

ytd's crowd was totally crazy..
no room to even move abt..
why do ppl like to buy last min presents??
was so tired and busy ytd..
didnt feel like doing anything..
damn tired..
came back and watch tv den just sleeeeeeeeeep..
goodness..
the rain outside now is making me sneeze like crazy..
non stop..
annoyed..

tmr's christmas..:)
hmm..
last yr christmas what was i doing?
oh...
spent last yr's with bryan..
made breakfast and a handmade card too..
ah..
the previous one..
hmm..
oh i bought a loco roco game as a present for him..
along with earphones and other stuffs..

it seemed so long ago..
2yrs ago..
ha..
nvm..
prob wont be busy tmr ba..
but i'll be working..:(((((
but serene said not likely to have many customers..:)
yay..:)

all i want for christmas is...
happiness..
from the bottom of my heart..
i'm so sick and tired of having to pretend everyday..
so ya..
santa..
give me my present pls..:)

thats all for now..
gtg prepare for work..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!:)

tata..
its funny how things are..
its funny how things were..
its funny to wait and see how things will be..
its funny to be thinking and waiting and be on the edge again..
ha..

2008-12-23T08:39:00.004+08:00

busy is gd..
work is actually therapeutic..
work is escape..
from everything that will come haunt my mind when i'm left alone without anything to do..

ytd was kinda busy but we still found our way of slacking..
haha..
met yaqing ytd..:)
and lotsa ppl a few days ago..
me and yuehang were talking non stop and slacking even when there's ppl..
lol..
and he got scolded be sheila..:P
den we sneaked out to buy bubble tea..:)
damn funny..
serene was looking for us everywhere..
and he made me feel so damn short..
but its gd too la..
i dun have alot of very tall friends..:P

ah..
i dunno..
it feels a teeny weeny tiny bit weird..
and last night's msg made me a bit scared..
that things might go in a wrong direction..
that history might possibly repeat itself..
oh god..
i hope i'm just thinking too much..
but he made me feel kinda.............
i dunno how to describe it..
its not sth bad la..
haha..
aiya..
its not possible de la..
and i wont want it too..
crazy..
but i seriously hope things will stay the way it is la..
better..?

nvm..
there's still the sony person..
everyday just look to the left can alr..
:P
whatever la..
i'm going mad..
haha..

anyway..
gtg bathe now..
serene's actually not as bad as they say la..
we can click well actually..
hmm..

thats all for now..

i miss the sun cos now the night accompanies me everyday..
makes me feel lonely and emo..
night + walk home alone= lonely..
haha..

tata..

2008-12-19T09:55:00.002+08:00

i went to youtube..
saw a music video..
and it made me cry..
the lyrics were just totally.....
ah..
its a jap song anyway..
another reason that made me feel this way is prob cos someone watched it too?
and it made me confused how the person thinks..
cos seriously i dun even know now..

mata aimashou..

2008-12-19T09:30:00.002+08:00

i didnt realise we were actually so diff..
into so diff stuffs..
seriously..
only realised this lately..
haha..
how funny..
and i have no interest in those kinda stuffs too..
totally..
i'd much rather be doing sth else..
hmm..

anyway..
shal and jon came again ytd..
getting really sick of them soon..
haha..
ytd work was fun..:)
and i sold the most impossible thing too!!:)))
the art of talking and persuasion..
haha..
we played the songs on my phone in the shop ytd..
we were getting sick of that stupid cd..
so me and yue hang were trying out..
damn excited..
got wires and stuffs..
haha..
but seriously, my songs are much better..:P
made me so much happier and in the mood for work..:)
and serene treated us to pizza hut ytd..
sai was damn funny..
eating like a monster..
haha..

and i seriously hope everything goes well for my sis..
i dun want that to happen to her..
feels heartache when i see her cry till her eyes all swollen..
makes me wanna cry too..
i prayed that she'd pass..
if not i really dunno what's gonna happen next..
pls, let everything be okay for her..
dun let history repeat itself on her cos she's seriously much better than me..
she dun deserve it..

and ya..
well..
i have officially stopped chasing pavements..
and it feels gd, too..
more peace of mind..
:)

thats all for now..

tata..

2008-12-18T10:10:00.004+08:00

ytd was gd and horrible..
work was gd..
yun hang and sai kp playing with me..:)
and jessica too..:)
but met a freaky uncle..
abbie and his friend came too..
as well as rashal and jon..
and saw weng kin and she-man also..
haha..:)
the uncle..
damn freaky..
told abbie not to bully me and claim to be my uncle..
told me to call him if anyone bully me..
he came to find me 4 f-ing times ytd..
ask me if i live nearby and how i go home..
even ask for my name..
bloody hell..
if he comes again today, i'll tell him to go away..
goodness..
one freak in the morning and another in the day..
wth..
and that stupid ass from ytd is gonna come either today or tmr..
god..
why am i so suay.........
some ppl just dun realise how f-ing annoying and irritating they are..
just piss me off one more time, and they're so gonna get it..

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

tata..

2008-12-17T08:57:00.005+08:00

omg..
i cant believe i'm actually talking to this person..
i dunno him..
and he feels a bit scary..
what with "i'll come see you tmr before i fly off to usa."
cos i told him i'm working..
ask me nonsense and whether i drive and can teach me driving..
oh god..
talked abt cars and he talked abt my hair and that he finds it nice..
dots..
told him i cut my hair..
super wrong move!!!!!!
cos now he's telling me i nv put up my new photo on the net and he can make me look like model..
goodness..
and now he told me he'll be at jp on thurs or fri..
and he wanna go jog with me..
as if i do jogging..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhh..
OMG!!!!
gonna block him now..
scary guy..

gtg prepare for work now..
hopefully that scary guy wont appear..
how stupid can i be man..........................
moral of the story: dun put your msn on facebk..
tsk..

oh man..
i sign out just as he asked for my no..
HAHAHAHAHA..
luckily i didnt reply..
i'm fast enough..
totally....................

thats all for now..

tata..

2008-12-16T15:09:00.002+08:00

ah..
everytime sth related happens, my mood will totally change in a snap and i wont be able to concentrate..
forgot what i was supposed to say at that time..
that dumbass cd..
why in the world must they play those f-ing songs???
luckily i recovered from it fast enough..
but it kinda distracted me alot..
stupid..
and it had to replay around 30 times???
totally..

anyway..
i like the live your life song alot..
rihanna's..
think its nice..
heh..

if only there were 3 off-days a wk..
haha..
i think i'm used to talking very loudly..
and i realised i love to interact and talk..
alot..
and help others too..:)
kinda like my job..
apart from the fact that there are some very annoying customers..
super picky and choosy..
one tiny 1mm mark also cannot..
in the end had to change 6 times for those asses..
argh..
there were some very cute and funny customers though..
there was this guy..
damn funny..

and everyday is like a weekday to me..
even weekends..
i think i have to work on christmas too..:((((((((((

thats all for now..

tata..
getting better at doing this..
and yes..
being busy is gd..
i love to be busy..
even if it means i have reduced breaktime..
my mind is filled with demands from customers..:)
all i want is to see the ppl i wanna see..
hopefully this coming weekend..

2008-12-15T08:24:00.004+08:00

finally using com after so many days..
been very busy these days with weekend and christmas coming..
so many ppl..
and had lotsa fun with yun hang and sai..
they keep disturbing me..
sticking scotchtape on my arm and other nonsense..
lol..
talked alot..
and many ppl came to see me too..:)

on fri saw many familiar ppl..
peili came with her mum..
rashal brought her whole gang there..
rashal, abbie, javier, mai, aishah and yew jin..
den we played with the electric shock chewing gum..
haha..
bryan came too..
with wei yuan..
i didnt expect him to come though..
was kinda surprised..
but i think i managed well..:)

saw segaff with his family on sat..
and i sold quite alot of stuffs..
haha..
did the bread and the stupid outfit on sat..

on sun peili came again..
brought cheryl, cy and carmen there also..
then went mac to eat but was a bit rushing though cos of my breaktime..
then ernest came too..
in the morning..
i was very surprised to see him..
i told him to buy sth and he told me to choose what i want and he'll buy for me..
lol..
showed him alot of stupid stuffs..
damn funny..
in the end he bought a 2x2 rubics cube..
he said its harder than the 5x5??
heh..
long long time since i last saw him..
haha..

serene's getting nicer..
not that annoying and bossy..
haha..
treated us to bubble tea too!!
my mango red tea..:)

was much happier ytd..:)
thanks to someone..
was kinda happy to see him..
haha..
made my day..:)
hope he'll come again this weekend..:)

thats all for now..
gtg get ready for work..
its good to be busy..
wont think abt other stuffs..
ha..

tata..

i think i'm managing alot better than i thought i will..:)
its not hard to smile..
but it really is torturing to smile when all you wanna do is just break down and cry..
was a bit scared when i received that sms..
dunno if i can act normal..
but all was well, i guess..

one day i'll be fine..
soon..
one day my mind will be free..
soon..
i will break free..

2008-12-12T09:02:00.003+08:00

came back late again ytd..
ytd was fun!!:)
yuhang kp asking me to go for break and ask whether its my break time alr..
haha..
and sai kp disturbing me!!!!
trick me into pulling the electric shock chewing gum so many times..
bluff me say that if i press harder and pull den wont kena shock..
and i stupidly believed..
my scream made him laugh like crazy..
haha..
and he's such a vain pot..
act like superman and elvis presley and ask me if he's handsome..
totally...........
but he help me quite alot too..:)
gd..:)
yuhang kp getting disturbed by the two kids and he kp complaining to me..
lol..
i think i induce smiles on ppl's faces..:)
makes me kinda happy too..
but ah..
smiling has now become my full-time job..
dun ask me to smile anymore..
12hrs of smiling everyday is more than enough..
its equal to my whole lifetime of smiling i think..

i'm getting better at this everyday..:)
i'll master it one day soon..:)
just keep me busy and i'll be absolutely fine..
just that its very tiring..

thats all for now..
gonna go bathe and work alr..
no off-day this wk..:(

tata..

2008-12-11T09:37:00.002+08:00

gonna go bathe soon..
came back at almost midnight ytd..
ended work at 11 plus plus..
quite tired..
but it was quite fun talking to so many ppl..
there were times when a HUGE big crowd just gather in front of me to listen to what i have to say..
haha..
and it kinda boosted my confidence i guess..:)
kaze is having off day today..
he feels kinda like hanqing to me for some reason..
lol..
can humour without expression..
haha..
talked a bit to sai and he's quite nice..
but i looked funny in that outfit also..
rashal was laughing her head off when she saw me ytd..
haha..
anyway..
i smiled ALOT ytd..
the smiles i had just ytd was way more than i've ever smiled for the past one month..
i cant tell whether my smiles were real or fake..
i have no freaking idea..
smiled for like 10hrs straight..
chore..

ppl were funny..
and its good to be busy..
no time to think abt stuffs..
:)

gonna get my dearest frapp later!!!!!!
cant take it anymore!!
coffee cravings..
haha..

thats all for now..
running late..
gonna get totally sick of jp..
:)

tata..

2008-12-10T09:49:00.002+08:00

this song just..
struck me..

ain't no reason..
brett dennen..